Why did my ex text me?

Well 4 days ago he broke up with me but I sorta initiated it due to a misunderstanding and then I told him I stilled loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he needed time to think. So two days later I get a text and he says "I need to get myself together" "I don't love you" "And I don't want to be with you" and I responded back "I understand" "Why would you say you loved me if you didn't and you said you'd never hurt me but you did, but I still love you and I respect your decision and wish you nothing but the best in life K" and he never responded.

Well today at 1 am he texts "U awake" and I text back 20 mins later with "yeah" and he tells me "sorry for being an asshole" "I know you probably hate me but I'm lost" and I said "I dont hate you, but I was hurt more than anything"

He then calls me 10 mins later to say he does love me and but he goes back and forth telling me he does and doesn't and then says its up to you but when I asked what do you mean he played it off and wouldn't explain and then he said he loved me but didn't know what to do to me and also I told him I would never see him again and he said "Yes you will". He hung up on me like 3 times and the last one I told him I loved him and he kept saying "No you don't" and hung up and I tried calling but he wouldn't answer so I texted him "I guess this is goodbye" "Well I hope you find happiness and in life Goodbye Love" he never responded back but I deleted the texts and his number again.

What is he trying to do to me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He is toying with you. He wants to string you along. My ex did the same thing when we were about to get divorced. I wanted to work things out, then found out he got another woman pregnant. He kept saying he loved me and then cheated again.

    He wants to feel in control. My ex would text me trying to make me feel sorry for him if his car broke down or if he (supposedly) was sleeping in his car. When our court date came up he told me "well you get your wish" I didn't respond. 5 minutes later he says "wow must be nice to know it's true".

    Don't let this guy control your emotions. All it will do is mess with your head and heart. It almost sounds like he wants to ruin you for anyone else emotionally.

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    • I'm just so confused because I know he is playing mind games with me. Every time he would hang up on me he would say something hurtful like he wants to hurt me. The break up was over something stupid and I kind of initiated it because he never had time for me.

    • If someone can't make time for you then they are not worth it. Again same thing. When I cheated I had just gotten home from being gone a year and he wanted nothing to do with me. This was after we first got married.

      I k own it's confusing and hurtful. It can even be hard not to answer that call or text. I'll tell you this, if you need some encouragement not to answer you are more than welcome to message me. Sometimes we all need that person or people to lean on for support.

      I still stand with leaving it alone. Like you said, he is hurting you and on some level he knows he is... don't give him that control.

    • I feel so confused and hurt by him and I was weak and I text him to get closure because he confused me but he ignores me so I have to move on even though it hurts. I was fine after the break up and I felt strong because he said he didn't love me but after talking to me on Thursday he confused me by saying he still has feelings for me and he loves me then taking it back. I wish he would have never texted me. I'm not going to text him again I deleted his number and I don't even know it by memory. And thanks for the support

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What Guys Said 5

  • To be brutally honest, I don't know wtf happened but I DO know that as I near closer to 30 coming home to an empty home is heartbreaking.

    He seems confused, probably cause part of him loves you and another part doesn't, but out of desperation attempted to salvage the situation.

    It's probably best to keep it over, hope my opinion somewhat helps your future choices.

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  • Haha what an idiot, if you caused the breakup due to a misunderstanding it may be partly out of spite to just fuck with you but this kid sounds straight up retarded. Dont answer any calls and just ignore him/block him if you can on your phone.

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    • Well I initiated it because he was being distant and when I asked him where do I fit into your life he said "I don't know" and I took that as he didn't want to be with me and I asked him why was he letting me go and he said "I'm not you are duh" but then he wanted time to think and thats how it all happened.

    • He's being a pissy little brat "im not you are duh". Just dont deal with the petty little games.

    • Yeah he is and then 2 days later is when he said he didn't love me and didn't want to be with me. I know he is doing this to hurt me. On Thursday when he apologized for being an asshole and that he still loves me then the after talking for a while he then says "I like you but you mean nothing to me" and then saying again he loves me.

      Is something wrong with him?

  • Yeah I get likeh this. Basically you swing back and forth between extremes. Suggest a break for a few months. Tell him he needs to sort out his feelings. Try to reconcile later if things improve.

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    • I tried to text him today to tell him that but he won't answer my texts, and all I want to ask why is he trying to confuse me. He told me he loved me but he doesn't know what to do with me now I'm hurt and confused. I was fine when he told me he didn't love me but now after talking to him on Thursday and telling me all of that and then just hanging up on me makes me think he wants to hurt me. Do you think he is trying to hurt me?

    • Maybe at the time. I know for me I'll be angry and just kind of lose it. I'll regret it after, then something will remind me of how angry I am and I bounce back and forth. The best thing is to just give a period of calming down. Sort out your feelings and try again if you still care.

    • I'm just confused because every time he would hang up on me he would say something to either confuse me or make me sad.

  • If I break up with someone and we can't truly work it, I wish to you hell and God forbid I find you in Heaven chilling in your 70 virgins sorority.

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    • What do you think he meant?

    • Show All
    • I'm pretty much moving on and I already deleted his number and he is the one that contacted me, but I have deleted his number and texts again because I feel like he wants me back but he is playing mind games with me but I'm not sure.

    • Is there an inch you might go back to start seeing him, if there is and you think there is life with him for years to come, show it to him, if not don't even try to think what he is thinking or his games.

  • I'm guessing he still loves you but is hurt and confused about his feelings.

    Fights happen, things are said that aren't meant, it's being able to talk about it once you both cool down that will make a difference.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Girl I just went through the same thing. We'll sort of... but Yea your ex is confused and he doesn't know what to do with himself or you so you two need a long break. Or you should just try to find someone that knows what they want cuz he doesn't seem to know. And I hate when guys keep hanging up and calling back it makes absolutely no sense 😕😕

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  • Everything happens for a reason, if he's not the right one, that's okay. It may hurt now, but it's only going to make you stronger. You'll find that perfect someone. I know it (: good luck and I hope you're okay!

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  • He wants u back but shows it in a bad way

    My ex I broke up with 3 years ago keeps calling me often.

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    • I think he does want me back because he asked if I missed him and I said yeah and he said well you'll see me again and I said no I won't because he broke up with me and he said "you give up to easy, you should fight for it" and I asked what he meant but he wouldn't explain. I tried texting him today because I'm still confused by it but he wouldn't answer my text so I'm done texting him.

    • Omg, my boyfriend did this in the beginning of our realitionship (now we have been together for 2 years) I ran crying to my male friend and asked why he break up but texting me. He told me "in the beginning if he really likes you he will see if you really loves him, like he does and if you gonna fight for him." He wants you to fight for him, he will do it 3-4 times and if you fight all those times he will die for you rest of his life

  • because he wants to make sure you still like him

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  • He's playing mind games don't contact him I know it's hard but wait for him to sort his head out if he comes back and u still love him great if he comes bk and u don't then you will have had time to heal and put yourself in a better mental place

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  • Textin' means he wants sexin'

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  • Send you to a mental hospital. You'll be so dizzy you won't be able to fight them as they drag you away.

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