Every time I break up with a guy I give them a twenty page essay on their flaws. I normally am really into the guy. So... Why do I do this?

Also not one has ever come back. Do you think they listened to my awesome critique lol?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You do it because you want to justify breaking up with the person. Unfortunately, they could probably do the same to you in even more pages...

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    • Yet they never do! Would have loved to have read it

    • They mostly critiqued me during the relationship instead. Apparently I wasn't rich enough, ambitious enough or tidy enough. I even got asked if I was safe to sleep with!
      true love... nothing beats it ;)

Most Helpful Girl

  • I can't imagine anyone would want to stay in touch if the last thing they heard from you was not only that things are over, but a lengthy description of everything that's wrong with them.

    I get that you're probably breaking up with them after finally having reached your breaking point in culmination of things getting to you. However, it's best not to go to such lengths to show them why. It casts you in a bad light Makes sense that you do it to almost affirm that ending things had been the right choice. in the end though, I seriously doubt any of them will take your 'constructive critique' seriously.

    Next time this happens, feel free to write out all your feelings, but maybe in a journal/diary of some sorts instead. I try to write around a paragraph or so in my journal at the end of every day, especially if I've been in a disagreement with my guy. I find it helps not only organize my thoughts on the matter having them out on paper where I have to really think them over, but also helps calm me down a bit. Having your thoughts laid out on you like that can often help you see things much clearer, cut off the vicious cycle, and lose the negative mind-set much quicker. :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • You are pulling my leg. If you did that would be awesome, that would take a lot of work 20 pages geeeez are your sources credible lol

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    • It's probably more like 3 a4 pages of flaws but you get my drift! Lol

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    • I also said that he criticised everything about me. He said that my house was a lot smaller than his first ever house and he smirked. He said my car was cheaper than his cheapest road bike and that I live in a midden!
      Like I said he's fucking shallow.
      He also asked if I was safe to have sex with. Which was nice!
      He's the biggest dick head I've ever met.
      Plus he has had so many women on the go it's actually unfunny.
      I wasn't amused as the list once I discovered it.
      Why his oh is still there is beyond me

    • Ha, you really did write an essay. That wasn't nice but at least they know how you felt about them. My ex just bailed on me, never told me why. Said we are done on the phone and then I saw her with another guy =) Since you are serious, I would advise you not to do this in the future and I agree with Kayla's advice.

  • You are an interesting girl, come and be my girlfriend:-)

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  • I don't know why you do it, you

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  • Maybe you are giving this critiques because you love him. If you didn't love him then he would be worth your time.

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  • You probably come across as a jerk.

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    • It's funny because I hoped it would help them become better people.
      These guys are so unbelievably flawed yet think they are perfect!

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    • I think he told me that if Im not mistaken.
      Al is that you?

    • Nah, my name is Hank the Tank.

What Girls Said 2

  • Your essay does nothing more than make them feel better about you breaking up with them. Seriously who has time for that nonsense...

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    • Well at least the feel good.
      I felt like shit for weeks afterwards and I genuinely liked them!
      That's life I suppose

  • I think they didn't even read it.

    I'm curious now about what someone would say about my flaws.

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    • I'm like you. Wish someone would tell me. Sometimes it would be good to know how you actually come across

    • Yahh. I mean I have a good idea about what they'd write but still it's different when someone points them out.

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