Boyfriend is scared of future! Should I work it through or leave?

My boyfriend and I have dated a little over 3 years. We recently transferred colleges to be together. Things were finally going so well. He even said he wanted to marry me, and he was always the one who brought up our future and kids. After a couple months after the transfer, he breaks up with me and says he doesn't know why he has to. We've kept in contact just about everyday. We tried no contact, but one of us ends up breaking it. (I think the furthest we've gone is about four days). We talked about taking a break instead of plainly breaking up. We did that for about a couple months. Now, he finally admitted to having a commitment problem. He wants to be with me but says he is also terrified of the future. He's tried to see other girls during our break, but keeps thinking about me. He can't go very long without talking to me. We recently have gotten back together in the hope of working it through since we can't stick to the break, but I can feel whenever he gets scared. Should I stay and work with him? Or should I cut my losses now?

Updates:
Also, have any guys gone through this? If so, what goes on in your mind? What makes you so afraid?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You both have been together for 'A little over 3 years' and hopefully counting here, dear, and with this Togetherness, it is appearing that you both are fighting like hell to stay Together because no Matter what you have Tried-----He can't go very long without talking to me.
    And by going along with his 'Commitment problem' that he is Obviously having, he is also 'Having' his cake and it eating it Too with you, knowing that you are by his side through this and no matter what, even with it looking like a Hit and Miss situation, you will stick to him like two birds of a feather... it's called unconditional love, which you are not only showing him but showing me by you going back with him 'In the hope of working it through since we can't stick to the break.'...
    You are definitely between a rock and a hard place in this cold no Commitment situation. And it seems that without you even realizing it, you are here for the long run because you love him enough to hang in there, that it could be a lost cause of getting him to settle down with you, and no matter what, you are not going anywhere and if you did decide again to fly the coup, you may never be completely happy with anyone, even if it was under another wing... he would be still in your heart and in the back of your mind all the time.
    Life holds no guarantees but death and taxes as we all know. And with someone who may never stay steady with in a love nest or be hooked at the hip, if you decide to 'Cut my losses now,' you may never be free of someone whom you have loved for a long time, have already tried to break away from and find also, that it isn't always greener on the other side of the fence with another whom you may never love this same way again in this lifetime.
    Good luck. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It depends if you love him or not. If you love and care for him, stick with him. If not, don't

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What Girls Said 1

  • If its worth it and you truly love him. you will stay and work through his and your issues and arguements. no one and nothing is perfect. Even though he hurts you, you will go back to him. It builds a stong bond. Each and everytime he is tempted he will think of how his actions will affect you. If he truly loves you then he won't cheat he will stay committed. simply because he knows no other girl for lack of better words will put up with his crap. You were and will always be the one he gave himself emotionaly too , he was intamite to. The moment he realises he can't gwt that from night time stands he will be fully commited to you. Best of luck

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