What to say in an email to get back in touch with ex boyfriend (ended in bad terms)?

hi there,

My ex boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up 8 months ago, we did really love each other. But we had a terrible fight and we decided I would leave. we reunite on the same night and say how much we love each other.
but the next day I left the house with a letter (we were periodically leaving together) which I think it did take badly, as he went silent for a couple of days. I ask him to return some of my stuff and he wanted to give it to me, but i asked him to leave it at a friend of mine as i did not wanted to see him. He took him 2 days to reply that he would do, but was clearly upset inside.
after a week i went to see him to apologize that I hate us being in feud. he was cold , but in the end he kissed me, hug me ; he was sad and hurt. but says he would do with it, that we will manage this, that it will be fine now.
that was the last time I saw him as he would say he was busy all he time and growing distant. finally after 3 weeks , i had enough, and out of rage texted him that obviously he don't care about me anymore and apparently wanting me to to end our story myself for him to not feel bad and that i wish him well for the future.
he never replied.
and so am I now.
I moved on , and started to want to date, although nothing happened , as my ex was so special that no one can beat him really. I forget about him as I have to.. but now it's been two weeks that i think about him. I love him, there was still lots of love here, i wonder if it's my fault..
also I saw him once in the street 7 months ago he looked really upset and hurt and pretend not seen me.
I know he is my soulmate, i want him back and would like to send an email, but how to start guys?

We are 30 and 39 years old (him)

thank you very much !!
He is not playing to make me feel guilty, opposite, he has even pretend that he took the decision. and that he is in control.
He is a lot of a relationship phobia, already it took us 6 months prior our relationship to get him to get into (While he actually pursue me, and always has) But now, it seems he is doing the same, which is pretty annoying.
He even say at the end of the email
"I could delete all of that, and simply says "yeah would be great to see you" but no i won't delete it , i will send you this long letter/essay, and annoy you , make you laugh/cry with craziness "
I don't know I feel he is scared , but in the meantime , he has replied to me so quickly , i mean 2 hours after, that I feel he haven't really weight it , and so maybe just want to use me as you said.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I dont know , it kinda feels to late to do that , but than again they say that its never to late. Now it kinda is your fault duo to that stupid rage text and saying to someone who was there for 2 year that he doesn't care... a bit stupid , but understandable , I think we all were there at one point. The best email would be a sincere one , from your heart and the best that I can offer to you is that when you make that letter to post it here so I could read it and maybe help to rearrange it a bit. And advice would be... definitely dont accuse him or attack him for anything... anyway , wish you luck.

    • Thank you unknown
      The thing is i don't understand why he did not reply to that text , obviously , i wanted him to react. and he has not, which in a way made me thought he never care about me.(Well on the day of our argument he actually told me that it was impossible that anyone could care more about me than him and he went mad saying "you think I don't care about you? OMG" he was really mad about me thinking that. yes.
      I thought of writing something light like "how are you? it's been some times now, i would love to see you over a drink or food? let me know.
      i think if i start with something dramatic , that would be just upsetting him no?
      thank you

    • Show All
    • He is not getting laid surely haha.. well me neither to be honest..

    • Look , history has a way of repeating it self and if it didn't work the first time it probably isn't going to work the second time around. If you want it to work you are going to have to put MORE effort and try to AVOID all the past mistakes. Now , you can't back off , it would be cruel that now that you contacted him you disappear. I bet he didn't think it threw , but neither did you... I mean you are a 30 year old woman taking advice from a 24 year old!! Best think would be a simple coffee , for a simple catch up and then you will maybe get you questions answered.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would love to help but my relationship with my ex feel apart and kicks me to live on the streets while I am sick with cancer. The only thing that came out of this for me is negative. All I can say is are you either scared, lonely, or just picturing that your relationship was good because you because your not with him. Break down why you left in the first place vs the reason why you want him back. Me I didn't get a chance to think and never got a explanation why this happened. So I want something better for you both
    Stop to think if you really want him back or you both could get hurt.

    • thank you starksands, also i am really sorry fir what is happening to you..
      stay strong ! x

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Why don't you just call it quits.. Yes you love the guy but
    you see what he's putting you through. This type of stress
    really isn't healthy at all.. I can't understand why two people
    put their self through all this stuff but it happens i done it myself
    no I'm not here to judge but someones got to call it quits for good?


What Girls Said 2

  • Keep it very brief and frank. Don't send some bullshit excuse, "hey how you been?" and keep him guessing. Say, "Hi, I've given our break up a lot of thought and I feel we have unfinished business. If you are with someone new disregard this message as I don't want to interfere. Don't feel obligated to reply. If you would like to talk I would love to see you again."

  • I would keep it short and simple, not deep or long- winded. I wouldn't confess you're undying love at this stage. The following is what i would write

    " Hi, We haven't spoken in a while, so i hope you are keeping well. It's sad that we parted on bad terms, but i would like us to remain friends and keep in contact. I do hope you would like to as well"

    • Yes exactly, I want to keep it short and don't want to confess at this stage how I feel about us.
      Your message is ridiculously perfect !!
      although he has a cynical nature when hurt so I expect him to say something like "You parted on bad terms, not me, i am fine "
      I'll do that !
      thank you

    • Show All
    • Thank you darling !
      Yes , maybe but I would really love if he could make some effort , so far I feel I made it all.
      There is an other thing , he has a personal issue since 3 months that makes me quite upset and sad for him , he is very proud so I guess that's why he has acted all weird recently, in case that when I found out , maybe i won't like him anymore as much. that really does not matter to me, but i know it matters for him , i tried to be very positive towards that (he is homeless and live in his business office since 3 months, he is entrepreneur ) it is really cold and I feel bad for him because i saw on his face he was ashame to tell me this. I understand why he don't feel like being GF/BF again , maybe that's why.. what shall i do? i would like him to stay with me but he will feel like i have pity for him, which is not true. I think i might text him yes he must think i am disappointed.

    • Aww that may be the reason why he is apprehensive. I had a best friend who was homeless. He felt worthless, ashamed, depressed , lots of negative emotions together. He probably won't feel good enough to have a gf right now. All i can suggest is to support him emotionally and let him know you are there for him

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