I have been married to my husband for 7 years. We have a two year old together and he has two pre-teen boys from a previous marriage who live with us 24/7. Our marriage has been rocky from the start. He is a business owner and he's told me more than once that his kids and the business come before me. I help him with the business and it feels like we're just business partners. He's a control freak and very critical. He literally makes plans for me and then tells me after the fact. I have low self esteem anyway and living with him has only made it worse. He compares me to other women a lot (which I already do myself) and he tries to change who I am. I'm a mild mannered, soft spoken person by nature but he wants me to be this hardcore business woman. I have pushed myself to be more outgoing and talkative, but it's something that doesn't come easy because I'm very shy and self conscious. I'm honestly at my wits end and would leave him but I don't want to hurt the kids. His kids' mom walked out when they were little and I don't want to do that to them again and of course I don't want my toddler going through a custody battle. I'm just so depressed all of the time though and have been close to suicide a couple of times. I feel trapped in a loveless marriage and I just don't know what to do.
Most Helpful Guy
First, many people in a marriage gone bad feel the way your feeling - you are not alone. Get marriage counseling. If he won't go, then just go by yourself. You can work through doing what's best for you - repairing the marriage or finding a path forward as a single parent. Working at addressing the problem is not fun, and I've been there. It does get better, but you need to take action. The"getting started" part is hard. It gets better. *way* better! Don't lose hope!1