Why would he buy me an eternity ring, then say he's not ready for commitment?

I asked my ex this and he didn't answer, I don't think he knows either.

Like two months before we split, he bought me an eternity ring which he was going to give me on our two year anniversary but he thought we might not last until then (we didn't, but why would you give it if you thought that?) He demanded that I have it and that I still keep it now.

He keeps changing his mind on things. He said he gave up on us when I didn't show him love for three months, which changed to, he wants to be single, young and free. Now he's saying he's actually not ready for commitment, despite telling me he wants to spend his life with me and we were planning on moving out. Now he's moving out without me. He must've known that he wasn't ready so I don't know why he'd buy me an eternity ring.

Could you guys shed some light on this?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is young and therefore is still figuring out who he is, what he does and does not want from life. If he is the same age as you at nineteen then he is still very young and will tend to be a bit fickle with his view constantly changing.

    It is not fair on you because he is building things up, knocking things down and his indecisiveness is pulling you in one direction and then another. I think it would be best to keep some distance from him until he figures out what he does and does not want.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Yeah, I feel like he's messing me around and playing me now so I've chosen to stop contact with him for a while. Maybe he'll miss me so much that it'll help him make a decision.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Because you came in with the same type of game
    The type of girl giving out the fake cell phone and name
    big fame, you like cats with big thangs
    jewels chip, money clip, phone flip, the six range...

    Hos get bought. Jewelery works on you.

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    • Uh English? Please don't make assumptions.

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    • Hos try to lock up men with money or status all the time. That's their MO.

    • You have a lot of learning to do.

  • The most probable explanation is that he's as uncertain as you are... one voice in his head says "I don't dear to" and another says "I love her".
    And all that confusion he works out on you.
    I gues that may come close. Or better: I fear it may :-)

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  • Not too sure what an eternity ring is, like a pre-engagement ring? but it sounds like he has no idea what is going on or what he wants, best to steer clear. I have no idea what his motivation is though, sorry.

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    • He didn't want to get married (though when we broke up he said that in a few years, he probably would've been like "Hannah marry me" but not right now) so I said, I would like an eternity ring at least to show our commitment and how serious we are about each other. He got me one, then months down the line, he says he's not ready for commitment.
      Yeah, I don't think he does either. Probably best I do give him some time :|

    • I think you need to do more than just give him space and let him go entirely. If I had to guess, he likely feels pressured to make a commitment broth from you and society, but two years can be a long time or a short time for some people, maybe he just doesn't want to make that kind of commitment yet, I know from experience of even living with a girl for two years I wasn't ready to make that commitment. But, that was also because I realized that I really did care for her and love her, but I didn't want to marry her

  • I don't know I'm not trying to be cynical but I think he gave it to you to either score "points" or because he was trying to save the relationship.

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