Why can't I get her out of my mind?

I'm infatuated and it is bad, destructive, and I want to let her go but I can't. I need to let her go for her sake and mine. She doesn't like me and we had a terrible argument last night over the phone. We are both at fault but I feel as though I am most at fault. Let me go into detail.

I met this girl a little over a month ago and things were going perfect. We had a great first date and an even better second. She started coming over to my place like every night because well... she kind of sleeps in her car so she doesn't drive home since it is 45 minutes away. She would even join me at the gym and we worked out together. Things were looking great. I would take her out and take her places she likes. I even bought he a cute tiger plush which is her favorite animal.

I did a lot for this girl. I'd go into more detail but there isn't enough space. :(

I fell too damn fast for this damn chick and now she plagues my mind. Her "best friend" is this guy she works with which just so happens to be her boss. He is really nice to her, and I mean REALLY nice to her. Fricken brings her coffee while she is at school, takes her out and essentially does what I wanted to do for her. He is also married, but going through issues with his wife.

Things got weird and she dumped me because I was unfun, a bad kisser, didn't order her food for her, remember every living detail, essentially I wasn't acting like her best friend. I had my own assumptions of whatever they were up to but I walked into this mess thinking hey its cool if a girl has a guy friend, I got girl friends myself.

I thought we were done a week ago, but she contacted me last Wednesday and we have talked a little bit until yesterday which I blew up on her, and now I feel like shit because I was harsh. I was jealous of her best friend and she doesn't get it. She doesn't get that she didn't give me a chance and I think she was lying about why she dumped me. I want to forget her but I can't and it sucks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • That sucks man. But that sounds more like her fault than yours. Sounds like she didn't appreciate you and everything you did for her even if you didn't bring her coffee at school or remember all the little details. You should try to find someone who will be grateful for what you do. I know it will be hard to let her go, but it's probably bet for both of you that you try to move on.

    • I agree and every time I think about it hurts. I feel like I've been played and while she has reached out to me and taken advantage of my efforts despite all that her standards are impossible to achieve. I didn't want to compete yet I did and I lost.
      I feel more upset with myself for falling for such a girl, and honestly it seems this is the common theme among people I tell this about. She didn't appreciate me and she simply focuses on the negative aspects of my failures. I've said things and she will latch onto one little thing take it out of context and then throw it in my face. It sucks, and I feel real bad because she doesn't get it. She doesn't get how hard I tried for her.

    • Yeah those types of people don't deserve your time or efforts in the first place. And obviously friends and people close to you have told you the same so you know it's this girls problems not yours. She probably has this unrealistic idea of what a boyfriend is supposed to be and that's just sad because unless they act like her slave she will never be satisfied. It's a good thing you got out of that relationship really because you need someone who will appreciate you and build you up instead of dwelling on the bad and tearing you down.

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What Girls Said 2

  • She sleeps in her car? Um if she even has a home! how weird, anyways, it's been only a month you'll get over it I'll say 2 months

  • I would say by how you describe her that she seems to use people to get what she wants. You gave her a lot and it wasn't good enough so she moved on. I'm sure she's nice but by the sound like she uses her looks and guys to do things for her, she'll have you end up liking her cause then you'll give her more. She's probably doing the same to her boss. I wouldn't feel bad for saying the truth to her if it was harsh it probably put her in her place. If she really genuinely liked you she would hang out and like you despots all the stuff you got. I would cut all ties and try to find someone who can truly appreciate you, you sound like a nice decent guy and in sure other girls would be happy to date you. I think she's just used to using people because she knows she can get away with it, and uses your generosity to her advantage.

    • Hmm... maybe. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

      In hindsight I think she didn't like me in the bedroom above all else. There was signs I see now she was looking for a physical relationship above all else because she had an emotional relationship with her boss. I wanted both, she said she wanted both as well... shit got crazy. Here I am now still pondering something I shouldn't. I tend to over analyze things and have difficulty giving up. I just don't like it and to be honest I don't think there is a single person in this world who has wronged me worse than her... save for my mother. :/

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