What do I do? Do I give up?

Me and my ex boyfriend was together for 1 year, he lives around the corner from me so it will be hard to not bump into him. We was happy the whole relationship then last week he told me that he don't know why but something had changed in him and he don't love me anymore. I felt like my heart was being repeatedly stamped on and couldn't stop crying, he also cried and said the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt me but he thinks this is for the best as he knows his feelings won't come back and don't want to leave me on but he still cares about me a lot, I feel like it's ended for nothing as we was so happy to breaking up out of nowhere, and I don't understand why he's not willing to try and make his feelings for me stronger and make our relationship work, he now says he wants to be friends as I was a big part of his life and he cares about me and wants to be there for me to help me and I can't still talk to him about stuff, I still feel confused about breaking up and still want him back, what do I do? I'm desperate. I still feel very hurt and upset I also can't eat as I feel badly sick.
  • Do I try to make him love me again?
    Vote A
  • Cut all contact and move on
    Vote B
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Should I try to be friends?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • To me, a relationship is more than just feelings. I would tell him that you were loyal to him and you don't feel he was loyal to you. If he disagrees tell him that's your opinion and that you can agree to disagree. I would say it's probably better that you two don't talk for that reason. He may protest but you can say you aren't satisfied with the way he left and you think it's for for the best. I would then stop talking to him unless he tries to apologise and says he wants to make things work.

    That's what I would hope I'd do if I were you.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • If he tries to take you back just say I am not sure how I will change but I feel so happy the way I am and very adequate, watch his stupid ego crumble, at that moment don't look back, you can't be involved in small brained boys. You are a bright and innocent, loving girl.

    • I mostly agree and I think she could probably do better than him but I was trying to address her point about wanting him back, sort of. I think she should do your way if she has no interest in getting him back or mine if she might want him back, assuming he changes. I believe in second chances.

    • Thanks for MHO.

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What Guys Said 6

  • don't try to hard to make him love again give him some space. try to be his friend. and just see how things play out. If you are meant to be together it will probably happen. same for being just friends or if the relationship, dating or just friends is meant to end.

    that last one is difficult to come to grips with. I have been there recently and its just hard.

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    • Will being friends stop me from getting over him? I don't want to see him speaking to other girls or moving on

    • Show All
    • What do you think the best thing for me to do is? Would I be best trying to move on but also be friends with him and see if any thing changes?

    • i guess if i was you i would try to move but try to see if a friendship can work and hope something changes

  • You can't change or make someone love you. Get that out of your head. Don't confuse all these emotions as sign that you should be in a relationship.
    It ended. it didn't work. Next

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  • Going from what you had together to just being friends in most cases just don't work , in some cases it can but that is rare. While you still obviously still have strong feelings for him the fact remains he has lost them for you for some reason. There is one cold cruel fact that life has taught me and that is you just can't make someone love you no matter how hard you try , believe me I tried it and for all my efforts just kept being hurt. If the chemistry isn't mutual ( both feeling it ) there is no point in putting your self in a position to continually be hurt by what will seem as rejection. You may just give him some time to reflect on things and see if he come back but at the same time you look at your self too. Who knows , one day he may realize you are who he wants to be with ; but it may not. I doubt this long answer makes you feel better but I'm just being honest.

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  • Katie, i dont think your her

    But i literally did what he did 4 months ago, i was even dating a girl called Katie, its hard to explain cause we are guys but basically we dont feel like its "perfect" and we couldn't love your cute and funny flaws no matter how hard we try, i get its hard.

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    • True, guys are driven by reason, you can be cute and sweet in all ways and if you don't have enough character as a girl, you a write-off. So I presume that's what he made out of you.

  • Just keep being his friends that seems to be what he wants and if you do that he'll realize what he really wants.

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  • I have no clue. don't give up

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What Girls Said 10

  • NO... YOU ARE TO VALUABLE FOR THAT SHIT. he obviously didn't know what he had. You , yourself is far more valuable than jewels money and anything actually. Dont go back to him and DONT CRY OVER HIM, do some squats and make that boy CRY OVER YOUR ASS. ... p. s Be fierce

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  • I'd cut all contact. It'll be better for you and help you to move on. Also, if he does still love you and can't see you at all, it'll make him realise what he's given up. If you stick around and still give him the contact he's suggested, he'll know you'll always be there. Show him you've moved on and aren't interested anymore. At best he'll try and get you back, at worst you'll move on which is what you need to do anyway

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  • Not everyone can do it, but I remained friends with some ex's of mine. At first it will hurt a lot, but if he meant that much to you, better to settle for friends than nothing. You never know, one day his feelings could change again. But if you are going to keep hanging out with him, you have to accept the friend zone. You can't keep trying to get back with him. It's within you yourself if you can and want to do this. If he sees you with a new boyfriend, that could trigger some feelings for him as well. Good luck.

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  • Sounds like the honeymoon phase wore of for him. You will get better once you have a couple of rebound dates and things will slowly go back to normal being single. I been there and done that before.

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  • Here is what I did when I had my heartbroken. I cut off all contact with him. There is no need to move house. And I focused on me. I got super fit by jogging in the mornings and afternoons. I started wearing a push up bra all the time. ( I just loved how my boobs looked in them) I got my hair done, and got some nice new clothes. I took up art classes. I even sold some of my work. I started to feel really good about myself! After 2 months he came knocking on my door begging me to take him back. I didn't take him back because I was dating an interesting guy from my art class, but it was sure nice to slam the door in his face!.

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    • You go girl, the world is creating a lot of stupid men out there without foresight and very impatient.

  • NEVER GIVE UP. Cut off communication and move on. I know it'll seem hard at first, but you'll feel a lot better. And when you bump into him, pretend you've never met.

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  • Oh wow. I am so sorry. But right now think about yourself. You are here all confused... while his their knowing what is happening. I think you should ask him forward what is happening. Ask him to be totally honest with you. If he fails then you choose... you can make him fall in love with you... just by doing litle things... and show no sign of interest In him... sometimes you pretending to go on "dates" would make him mad and think twice. Or you telk him that it's too much for you. It's best that you stop talking.
    I know it's hard. But yiu have too... you can't keep being confused in that way.. it's not fair.. you deserve to know, he needs to be honest with you.
    I hope it helped :* -all the best.

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  • REVENGE SEX is the BEST !!!

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  • I think distancing yourself, but yet remaining friends with him is a good idea. If he really feels that this is what is best, then he will support you in moving on. You doing the same for him too.

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  • I tried to make things work with my ex when he dumped me for no reason. We only dated a month but it felt like a year. Anyway, I started in contact with him as friends and it became very complicated. 7 month later and I just called it off 3 days ago. I still love him I just couldn't take it anymore cuz he was just using me. Anyway moral is to move on. He was honest with you which I know it harts but believe me it better than being stringed along. He dumped u, he's done, cut off all communication.

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