My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me today, but I don't know exactly why.
Last night, we hard an argument over something silly, as you do. It then got worse and my boyfriend told me that I'm controlling and I'm always telling him what he can and can't do. I honestly don't feel that this is the case, but listened to what he had to say. I was honest with him, and told him that, for his sake, I don't want him to be with me if that's how he feels because I know what it's like to be in a controlling relationship.
I asked him if he wanted to be with me or not and he said 'I don't know' which really upset me. I asked him why he was still with me and he said that it was because he loves me. I understood that, but said to him that sometimes it's not a good enough reason because you have to want to be with the person you love. He then chose to completely ignore me the rest of the night, and the following morning.
It then got to the afternoon and I still didn't hear from him (he'd been out to work, then went to his house). I went to his to see why he wasn't talking and he said that I'd hurt him. I asked him if we could sort things out and if he wanted to be with me, and again, he replied with 'I don't know'. I told him that hurt me and that I couldn't be with him if he didn't know. He then followed me out the door and watch me leave, crying and with him not fighting for me to stay with him.
After that, I didn't hear anything from a while, and then received a text from him saying he was going to cancel our holiday to Orlando (which has been my dream). I asked him to wait, because if we end up getting back together, he's missed out. I also suggested that we either go in a break or just go on holiday as friends. He said that he can't do that. He said that he loved me, but I feel as though if he reallý did, he would try. But he said that he's tried for too long. I really don't know what to do and I'm so depressed.
Most Helpful Guy
In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.
Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is about you, not your ex.
Don't start thinking about being friends right away — if ever. You have to be your own friend first.
Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.
Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won't move on until you've accepted that the relationship is over.
Be careful about the language you use. When you use catastrophic terms like "nightmare," "terrible," and "horrible," you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Focus on what you can do.
Sometimes you can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger and sadness.
Don't embarrass yourself or put yourself in a situation where you'll look back and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls or e-mailing non-stop is no way to let go of the past or come out with your head high.
Learn to trust again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's a risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life suspicious, or loving and laughing.0
Most Helpful Girl
It's not to late. Bad communication.
You need to say you love him too and that's enough for you if you feel that way.
When people are made, they say crazy things. He doesn't really think you're controlling, most likely. Talk to him properly.0