My fiancé left me?

I came home weds after work to all of my fiances things Gone and his key on the table! I have 3 kids and he didn't have any! I realized a couple months ago that he was unsure about going forward with the wedding! Yet he kept me in limbo for awhile! I finally told him Wednesday on my lunch that I needed him to decide because I can't keep doing this to myself and my kids! Well I guess ignoring me the rest of the day and moving his stuff out without telling me was his answer! Didn't even have decency to say goodbye to me or my 3 that were completely attached to him! How can someone walk away from 4 people he supposedly loved and was going to spend his life with without even saying goodbye? I don't get it! Feels pretty heartless!

Updates:
Wow! He proposed the moment he made that choice he committed to the kids and I! I didn't propose nor force him to! I realize o made him be a man and choose instead of living in my house letting me support him!! He made his choice and I can respect that!! Not many men are man enough to handle 3 kids that aren't there's but maybe they should figure that out before they propose!! All I'm saying is he could have chosen a better way to walk away!!
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you upset he didn't want to get married? I mean it's fucked up to leave like that but you shouldn't have given him an ultimatum. If you were willing to spend the rest of your life with him, why does it matter if your married or not?

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    • Uh he proposed!

    • Just asking! I asked before you updated. I apologize if I sounded rude. But whether he did or didn't propse, that was messed up. You do deserve an explanation

Most Helpful Girl

  • I can only imagine how much you are hurting. Maybe this is a chance to let him know how much he is losing by leaving you? I have read a lot about the no contact and improving yourself after a break up, your situation seems to be one that this would work. Give him a chance to miss you. Get yourself busy and boost your ego by doing something for you. Don't reach out to him, don't text him, don't call him, stop all communication. From what I have read this is key to making sure he doesn't see you as needy or clingy or a "given". He has to miss you. Evaluate yourself, what has changed since you have been together? Did you stop going out or dressing up? Did you stop doing things for you, and everything was for him? Well this is your time to start going back to the person who was confident and strong before he met you, the person who he was first attracted to. It has been three years so you need time to regroup and find yourself again.

    See this as a challenge because you can't get him back by throwing yourself at him, he already had you and left. To not hear from you will really make him wonder what has happened. After a week he will begin to be curious After two he will probably start to panic. By week four you will probably receive some kind of text or call. By then you will have broken out of the addicted to seeing him phase if you really didn't contact him at all and it will be easier for you to be the real you, the strong you when deciding how to proceed.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Pretty surprised at the way the comments are looking tbh. Everybody's like "Well how was he supposed to know how he wanted to feel?" And yet he proposed and didn't feel like saying a word on the subject. This is just completely self centered.

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  • That's weird, maybe he became king of potatoes and decided to rule his people in Potatoland. Either way, that's really nasty of him, just shows he had no sense of responsibility when he proposed, and im still trying to figure out why anyone would do those course of events, especially with 3 kids!!. Oh well, i wish you well, and if he left just like that, good riddance!

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  • Getting married is a huge commitment, and marrying a woman with three kids is far bigger. While his manner wasn't courteous, it's easy to see how he probably panicked as he realized what he was getting into.

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  • You did force him to choose and he obviously wasn't ready.
    He probably assumed it would be a lot tougher to leave if he hanged around to say bye to everyone.

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  • Well you did give him that ultimatum "Get married to me or leave". You may not have said it like that or at all, but the way you told him he needed to decided was basically the same things.

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  • What a douchebaggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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  • You gave him an ultimatum. You got your answer. WHY would a goodbye help?

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  • You're pushy. You put him up to an ultimatum and you lost like always... He made his decisions. Deal with it, that's what you asked for.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't think it's because he's heartless. Most likely he was to scared to say it to your face and your kids. Then seeing the hurt looking on both your face and theirs. Some people are just to scared to tell the truth.

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  • Cowardly way for him to make a choice.

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  • Wow I am so sorry that it happened :(

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