I screwed up his finances, is there a chance we can reconcile?


I have two young boys from a previous marriage, he has no children and never married. We lived in a home he bought for us for four years. I was the one who paid the bills and he was the main contributor to the household. Two years ago my mother died, we were extremely close and I was her caregiver. It was traumatic for me, she was an alcoholic and after her death I lost myself. I had no close family around, my father was in NY and my one brother four hours away. I shut myself off and began to drink pretty heavy myself. I began to mess the bills up, I would just ignore them, I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to tell him either, using excuses in my head that I would fix it later or it would just get better on its own and go away. This obviously didn't happen.

During the course of our relationship my boyfriend made his own mistakes, and even had a full emotional breakdown, I stuck by him and we worked through things. While I was drinking he stuck by me as well. When I finally snapped to and began to get myself together, the mortgage was going into foreclosure. I tried to fix the problems by completing a refinance without telling him, the paperwork went through and I thought it was going to be okay. It wasn't, he found out. He lost his mind, he screamed at me, he cried and he left. His parents were supportive of him and offered to help him sell the home, but they had conditions, he had to leave me. He chose this option and I moved into a place with my boys. He moved in with them.

I have left him with over 7k in finance fees and terrible credit. I pay him money towards these charges, almost 1k so far. It is important to me to do this because I think it is the right thing to do, I owe him this money because I did cause the problem by not contributing as I should for over a year.

I had thought we were partners for life and would work this out but instead he tells me he hates me and th


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What Guys Said 1

  • If he tells you he hates you unfortunately I think that there's no chance of reconciliation for now. Continue doing paying him the way you're doing, it's really the right thing to do, maybe in the future things get calmer and you'll be able to talk better in the future, but I wouldn't have many hopes.


What Girls Said 1

  • Or sounds like there were mistakes on both sides for him to have hit you :/

    No matter what happened in the past you deserve better than a guy who hits you. Let the romantic aspect of the relationship go and try to untangle yourself from him as soon as possible.


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