Why is he putting all the blame on me?

I have been stuck in this for so long, it started a half year ago. We got into a conflict and he left me, blocked me everywhere and refused to pick up my calls. Later he came back, he was hurt and I gave him chances to open up but he couldn't tell me what was wrong. What was I supposed to do? Time goes by and he kept randomly texting me. He has to leave the country four months for work but we stayed in touch a little through texting. I'm not sure why but one day he stopped and got angry, I think his friends told him about me leaving with another guy one night. For some reason I decided to check upon him and it didn't end up well.. He was tired of waiting for me he said. Once again I was blocked thinking it was over but he surprised me by knocking at my door. Not sure what he wanted, he was very very back and forth. In the end he said he just wants to be my friend and I'm okay with that but as soon as I start moving on he starts doing childish things to get a reaction out of me and make me jealous. He claims that he's longing for a relationship and the next minute he's so happily single. Now I get all the blame for what happened. I know I should've used the no contact rule but I was hoping we'd be able to talk things through at one point but like I mentioned before, one day he suddenly turns around and gets pissed and ever since then he's been so different.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He sounds like me from couple of years ago... look. If its anything like me it might be depression , fear , traumatic past (I was cheated by my first girlfriend and had a hard time trusting women) and secretly in love with you. Mix all that together and you have your personal hell. Now Im basing this on me and I´m a great guy that shaked off my past on my own and now try to help others. It sounds like he needs and wants your help but then backs off out of fear , thats what I was doing. Honestly... I would let him go , he is too negative for you. If you care , you can corner him and give him one last shoot to explain himself.

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    • Thanks, very helpful. I know he has trust issues, first thing he did on our first date was to read through my private messages and see if I was talking with other guys. He suspected that I flirted with his friend behind his back because that friend had a crush on me and recently he told me that being serious will get you hurt, love as well.

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    • I will think this through, thank you for your helpful advice.

    • Sure , hope I did help , but put yourself first!!! Before I got like him I tried to help my Girlfriend , she was molested by her father... anyway I tried to help , should of given up but I didn't and end ended up almost ruining 4 years of my life... dont let him do that to you!!! At any moment , no matter how much you care about him , be ready to tell him goodbye if he crosses the line.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He's nucking futs. Not everyone is playing with a full deck of cards.

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  • y u no betta relationship tho?

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