So you have a boyfriend. Everything is absolutely perfect. He loves you, you love him. He is considerate funny and gives you attention. You are loving attentive and are fun to talk to and be with.
Then one night, you come out of the shower and he tells you "you got a text from blabla.." You look at him funny. Blabla is a mutual friend of your friend but he doesn't know this. You don't say anything and brush it off. You head home that night after saying your lovings and head to sleep. About 1 hour into your sleep you are bombarbed with texts from your boyfriend. He says "we need to talk". Says, "We can talk about it in the morning." You have no idea what is going on.
The next morning you get a call from blabla. Blabla tells you that your boyfriend called him and asked him why he texted you... You feel shocked and violated and apologise profusely to blabla. You feel confused and angry at your boyfriend and text to meet him later.
You meet him at his house and he seems admittedly nervous. You sit down and talk for a while about why he called you last night. He beats around the bush and doesn't tell you that you he called blabla, you want hom to admit it but he won't.
You finally ask him if he called might have happened to call someone. He gets red in the face and starts stuttering. He lies and tells you that he never called anyone, he starts making things up. You finally tell him that blabla called and told you that he asked how blabla knows you.
You feel lied to and that your privacy has been invaded. You don't know what to think or say. He apologises profusely and says he made a mistake. You don't want to hear a word of it. You tell him you guys need to take a break and he needs to sort out his trust issues.
He is visibly upset but you know what you need to do. He gives you one last hug and kiss goodbye and you feel like you need to think things over.
The boyfriend in this story was me. Would you forgive or leave him forever?
- Leave himVote A
- Forgive himVote B
- I have no ideaVote C
Most Helpful Girl
I understand that getting cheated on will leave some big trust issues. But you have to let that past shit go. Not every girl is the same, just as not every guy is the same. Give the new person in your life the benefit of the doubt, do not assume every guy a woman has contact with is competition. After all, she did have a life before meeting you and does have friends appart from you.
She is (was) with you because she liked YOU, not any other dude. Get it?
Neediness, insecurity and insane jealousy is very very unattractive. and it is a self fulfilling phrophecy.
to get rid of this crazy behavior, is to understand that every person is free to be with who ever they decide to, for as long as it feels right. counts for you too. and that no snooping around will ever change something about that exept for chasing them real fast.
The only way you will be able to fix this, is giving her some time, lets say a week, depending on how pissed she was. Then ask to have coffee to have a talk. Very calm, tell her you are so very sorry and explain to her, that you realized how nuts you behaved and that you feel really stupid about acting so insecure and controlling. Tell her your fear of past experiences blinded you into invading her privacy and that you are aware that this is a No No and that this past should not have been proyected on her. Tell her you love her and that you do in fact trust her completely and will work every day on letting go of this old baggage. If she does give you another chance, do not fuck up! everytime you get crazy feelings, count to 20 and think rationally about the consequences of your actions or words and then decide if saying something is even called for. Any issue you do have, talk directly to her about it, do not go around her back. You are not 12 anymore.0