Would a guy really break up with a girl for being "too good"?

So he said that he had really been into me before, but now he is realizing that I am too innocent. I am a virgin and I was open to the idea of having sex, but not yet. He is not a virgin and has had sex with over 20 girls. I was his first relationship too because he just had friends with benefits before.. he was my first ever relationship. But would a guy actually break up with a girl because of this? Also, he knew I was a virgin when we were first starting to date and said he wanted to wait for me..
Updates:
I didn't want to wait til marriage..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys totally want virgins and want there girls to be goodies. A sweet innocent girl is a huge turn on. Usally the goodies are secretly wild. Good girls gone wild !
    As for him sleeping with 20 girls? As if. Don't he wish.
    You don't want a loser like that anyways. He's a lier and a pig. Not trustworthy he won't not cheat on you or be commited to you only.
    I bet he hasn't been with 2 girls. Those who feel the need to brag they have been with how ever many girls are dreaming.
    Total bs. A cronic wanker 100%

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Most Helpful Girl

  • AVOID this guy. He is telling you he is not good for you. BELIEVE HIM! LISTEN TO WHAT HE IS TELLING YOU. Leave him alone. Please girl. Wait for a special guy. He is not that guy. You will be just another on his list and he will likely move on to the next. If you want to wait for marriage, I say go ahead. You are rare and special. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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    • Thank you. All of my friends said it was for the best and I think they were right. None of my friends liked him because he was mean and a really bad influence... it sucks that I got hurt by my first ever boyfriend, but I know that I should stay away from him and go after someone better for me.

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What Guys Said 32

  • a lot of guys say that upfront and then try to pressure u into sex and then break up. its pretty normal. im guessing ur around 18 if u have not seen or heard this before. but on a serious note there are plenty of movies on this subject and they are all correct. unless u had some kind of special bond *only u will know* why would he rub his dick on a hard box cover when he can rub it on the soft velvet inside somewhere else? forgot what movie that was but i still crack up repeating it.

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    • He told me at first that he would wait "forever," but towards the end of the relationship he said "something changed" and he didn't feel the same anymore.. i don't know if its because he didn't feel the connection that comes with sex yet or because we just didn't have a connection as people

    • only u could know, i know right now as many chicks as i think are fucked up i know there is just as many if not more guys that are fucked up chicks have to deal with also.

    • It sounds like "forever" was defined as "until I am tired of waiting".

  • How does not wanting to have sex make you 'too good'? Basically, he was saying that if you weren't going to fuck him, then it wasn't worth his time and effort. Originally, he was probably trying to get you to fuck him by playing the lover. Dick move, for sure. "I want to wait for you, so fuck me now."

    Here's the breakdown:

    Women typically desire commitment. They desire a strong, resourceful male with good genes. Attractiveness is part of that, but the overall picture is what concerns the female. This is why it's so mind boggling for men that a 20 something could date a wealthy 65 year old with a beer belly and gross face--he has resources, power, social influence, and this is the male eqiuvilent of a hot female. "Will this male stick around if I get pregnant? Will he provide resources and protect and teach his offspring and me?"

    Males desire sex. Pretty straight forward. The cliche, in this case, is true. While modern Western males will commit and be monogamous, their desires are completely opposite. The only way a male will stay with one female without sex is through social conditioning or "Omg, I want to spread my seeds all over 80% of the women on the planet's faces."

    In order to retain a male, usually, she must give him a consistent stream of sex; otherwise, he'll seek elsewhere.

    Now. Those are the 20,000 year old instincts we have. There is still social conditioning and male willpower and belief structure. These things are the determinants which... determine whether a male will stick around and wait or not. Along with their chances of sex elsewhere.

    The funny thing is. Sex is high risk for females. Commitment is now high risk for males. So, the things females want are high risk for males, and the things males want are high risk for females. More cosmic jokes on humanity.

    In any case, your guy sounds like a dick. In other words, he's very much in touch with his instincts, but not so much on willpower or social influence or beliefs.

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  • " having sex, but not yet. "
    "too innocent"

    " his first relationship"
    "just had friends with benefits before"
    there ya go.

    It's not because you're 'too good' a guy who has only had friends with benefits seems into sex, not whatever you're about.

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  • First of all, this guy hasn't slept with anywhere near 20 girls. What a joke that is. That is probably the number of girls he has fantasized about! Every guy's fantasy is to be a girl's very first. There is nothing more exciting, personally and sexually, to be the only one to have touched her in an intimate way. And would be a massive boost to self-confidence. And it is perfectly normal and natural to feel that way. We as men were created that way. But you do not belong to this guy yet! His ultimate goal right along has been to pressure you into having sex with him, so he can check off the highest score on his list (real of fantasized) - a virgin. And then brag to all his friends about it, and make jokes about the second guy your with about he is getting his "sloppy seconds". I have seen it over and over with younger guys. Do not trust him. He is a snake in the grass, waiting to strike at your precious chastity. Why would you ever agree to compromise your most valuable asset for some guy who only whores around with strange women? Surely he has diseases. Chlamydia, Crabs, Ghonorria. Who knows? And most guys don't use rubbers unless they absolutely have to either, so just imagine the gross and perverted things he has done with his body! Do you really want that inside your perfect clean body? Please wait! You will surely meet a man (not a boy) who is also chaste, clean, and healthy, physically, mentally, and spiritually. And he will be more than willing and capable of waiting for you until after you each cross that altar. And it will be worth it beyond what words can describe here. The joy and elation. The self-respect, and the oneness you will feel will be indescribable. And those who know you will most proud. Don't doubt that you can do it! God bless...

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    • Well said, couldn't have said much better, listen to him as he said, finally someone who thinks alike.. wise words dude.. Good job.

    • Thanks, Hariss.

  • Lol... he told you the " I will wait for you" crap to get into your pants. When it was taking too long he probably thought you really meant it and left. I am not attracted to good or vanilla girls either, even if she is hot. I would rather date an uglier badass than a prettier goody two shoes.

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  • If he's not willing to wait for when you're ready, he isn't worth the relationship.

    Over 20 girls? I don't know why but that's a red flag for me, especially if he's "realising you're too innocent".

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  • He sounds like he isn't your type. If he isn't willing to wait until you're ready, find another, better man. In fact, thank him for leaving and narrowing down your options, It makes choosing a guy that much easier!

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  • He has commitment issues, He just wants sex where as you want a real relationship. I am on your side by the way. I'm not religious but I don't believe in casual sex. It just feels kind of wrong.

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    • But how do you know how it feels? Hand cream isn't the same and costs less then a wife

  • I'd encourage you to stay pure and wait. I'd leave him if he's pressuring you to sin. Any sin... I'm a virgin (although not that innocent unfortunately), and want a virgin myself. :)

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  • Sorry to say He didn't feel like waiting no more he wanted to pop that cherry realized it was happening on ur time & terms which didn't work 4 him so he made up an excuse Ud feel comfortable with at least he cared enough to do this & try spare ur feelings or he just can't b honest about it

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  • Maybe he thinks he's too far gone and screwed up to badly so he "sins" with other people who do/feel the same but if he meets someone who doesn't, like you, he would probably feel guilty and just let you go but i don't really know what's on his mind.

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  • Yes if he is an asshole, the way you describe it he doesn't deserve you nor is he able to properly help ease you into losing your virginity, don't take it lightly if you want to just "get it over with" it will most likely be a bad experience and set you up to think sex is a horrible awkward and bad experience while actually it's a beautiful way for two people that deeply love each other to connect and get closer

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  • If he can't understand that? you need to stick to your gun's and do what you believe in and stay a virgin until you are ready,, Some guys that's all they know
    He need's to know what love is, sex is not love only apart of it. I think he likes the part friends with benefits But iv been known to be wrong be for LOL
    Don't do it course he wants to do it course you want to remember its your's

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  • To be honest I wouldn't date a girl if I was going to be her first. Its not as fun as someone who knows what they are doing. Also a the first time is very important to some its just awkward sex.

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  • If he has gone through 20, so it's obvious that he has to leave at last no matter what happens, before sex or after sex he will not gonna stay with you, his target is sex not you, so it's wasteful to try to get him back on the cost of your virginity, he will take it and still things will not change the case will remain same as it is now, he doesn't deserve you that is ultimate truth, so be with it, kick him off from your life, you deserve a much better and pure guy like you are, a guy like you will understand you much better and never take decision for sex in pressure, don't let the sex be the base of your relationship, you may endup being called by bad names and losing your dignity. the people looking for spontaneous sexual pleasure in their life try to misguide you into sex they want to turn every girl into a hoe for easy sex.

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  • I don't know. I would prefer a too good of a girl. I'm a virgin also. So it wouldn't be a problem with me. Why would you be with someone that gave himself up so easy?

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  • You're boring to him. He wants to have sex without the crazy attachment of a Virgin... He wants what he wants without the potential drama and guilt if he wants to move on after

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  • Personally, no, I wouldn't. But there are guys who, that's just not what they want; it all comes down to personal preference the way I see it.

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  • I wouldn't break up with someone because of that I find what you are to be a positive not a negative.

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  • Sounds like he just wants to get some, even if he says he will wait for you, he will eventually start pressuring you to do it

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What Girls Said 9

  • "you are too good for me" is code for, I am in over my head here and don't want to deal with it. Or he genuinely feels that you should have your "firsts" with someone who will be serious with you, because he is not really ready for an exclusive, long-term relationship himself. And unless you are up for a casual hook up, that makes total sense.

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  • Yes and no. Guys wouldn't dump a girl for being too good or innocent if they really like her. But they'd dump a girl who they couldn't sleep with if there was nothing else about her that was particularly engaging or they were into.

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  • Well hun if a guy does that many girls first off he is a player. Also if he knew you were a virgin than it was worst because lots of players go for virgins. I mean have you ever listened to a guys conversation before. A virgins puddy tay is tighter than most. Your body is your temple and if he can't accept that then he can just go to hell. Gods watching him boo and you too. God bless you... Your Welcome!!!

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  • y'all weren't compatible. it was taking u too long to open them legs, its for the best, he only would have broken your heart anyway

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  • Some guys have really strong urges for sex, but he really didn't want to cheat on you. He probably thought he might was going to cheat later in the relationship, because of his urges and wanted you to spare that pain.
    Sex is really addictive if you've it once. You can't really blame him.

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    • Lol yes you can. You don't cheat on someone you care about. He does not care about you no matter how big his sex drive. Oh please. That is no excuse. Break up with someone. Don't cheat on them!

    • @Scmitch yes that's what I'm saying. He breaks up with her because he doesn't want to cheat. He probably felt the urge to have sex but knew he couldn't ask his girlfriend so he breaks up with her.

  • I got broken up with for being "too Christian" to do anything sexual with my first boyfriend, I am waiting for marriage for pretty much everything

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    • @Katy 16 That is wonderful news! Direct affirmation that he is NOT the one for you. You will meet a chaset guy one day who will not pressure you, and arrive at the alter unscathed. It won't be easy but altogether worth it for you, and in the eyes of everyone, including God. Lord bless you, Katy!

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    • Luckiest guy in the world! Congratulations!

    • Awww thanks :)

  • mayday! mayday! abort mission! The red flag is flying very high with this one.

    The fact that your a virgin and if he has really slept with over 20 women. Do not have sex with him and end it all. I'm the first girl the guy i'm with now has ever been with. I know he's had some sex buddies. But he never had sex with 20 chicks. Not even close. So that guy comes off as just caring more about sex. Maybe you should cash your V-card on someone who isn't as sketchy sounding. As in like any guy who never makes you question his intentions, you feel 100% comfortable with, not afraid to look really goofy and silly in front of, and someone you can share/tell anything. A lot of women do wish they could still be virgins after meeting a guy who meets all that I said.

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    • Also for the being "too good part." That just sounds like if they did break up for that reason. Then they probably have commitment issues. I've had a guy use that before and it hurt like hell.

  • No. But they might break up with you if you guys aren't having sex and he wants to. Pretty clear what's really going on

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  • I had a guy, who wanted his old gf back, but dated me because I looked like her. When he realized that I was "too pure," he started cheating and started to force sexual advances on me. Example: No leaving his house til he had a bj... Which I didn't do. I held my ground til I met back up with my fiance again, who waited patiently for nine months for our first time. He was from high school and also a virgin.

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