Most Helpful Girl
There's a lot of information being left out here and I'm very sorry you two broke up.
For me, compatibility does not mean being the same exact thing as that person because it's a 50/50 deal (all depends on the individuals)... I think it's kind of like dating yourself so you know the ropes very well and "the same" will get boring eventually (not in the sex department). But that's just my personal opinion hence the name of the site.
Compatibility means complimenting each others' personalities with flaws and traits that one has, that the other doesn't. For instance, an extroverted woman and an introverted man. I'm not saying all fall into this category but let's say this extroverted woman has been used to being so sociable and loves gatherings while the introverted man, is not; he prefers to be doing his own thing, a hobby, in his own space. The extroverted woman, a committed one at least, will reach out to her introverted man, and make the effort in doing the things he likes to do. In return, he will also do the same for her and bam, it works with effort.
Nothing worth having is done without work and effort.
All in all, compatibility in a relationship is having the best interest of someone at heart. Yes, chemistry included, and most importantly: communication.
I hope this makes sense.
I can elaborate but it would be helpful if you added some more information on where you think you both went wrong (I'm not pointing the finger at anyone).
Plus, you're on the right track that it is how people get along well and share similar interests but there's a bit more to it than that and it's not really complicated even though ironically, you're asking what it is. :)
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Most Helpful Guy
Mutual attraction, mutual interests and beliefs and how well two people work and resolve issues as a couple.