Do I have a right to be annoyed at my ex or am I over reacting?

My ex has 2 children he has a son with his ex wife who is 15 and a son with me who is just turned 9.
Both boys have never met each other even though they know about each other, this has been my exs decision. I personally believe both kids have a right to meet each other etc but its not up to me. Our son and our relationship has been kept a secret, again his choice the reason being we started dating when he first seprated from his ex wife however after 14 months and myself being pregnant he chose to reconcile with his ex wife and she insisted he have no contact with either our son or myself, he agreed.
Fast forward 5 years no contact etc and he returned into our lives, we decided to try our relationship again, which lasted nearly 4 years and we have still been kept a secret. His son is not aware his dad is seeing me let alone he has a brother, his ex wife doesn't know we are back together let alone he is seeing anyone my exs argument is that he doesn't want to put his relationship with his eldest son at risk. This would upset me but it again was his choice.
It would also upset me that he would remember his eldest son birthday and would spoil him ( I have no problem with that, I actually was happy he would ) my issue is that during the time we were seeing each other he would forget or not get our son a gift, our son had a birthday 2 days ago and even thou I reminded my ex about our son birthday even invited him to join us we heard nothing.( our ex ended our relationship 4 months ago because he suddenly didn't want to commit)
I am aware my ex is having a hard time and is struggling to the point he is depressed.
Do I have a right to be annoyed that our sons have never met?
That my ex remembers his eldest sons birthday but not ours?
How should I handle this, I don't want to come across as bitter ex but tired that my son and I are a secret and not given any consideration while his ex and their son are even thou they are divorced?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should kick him to the curb. You don't need his permission for your son to meet his brother. That is just silly, and that you put up with it is sad. This guy is a jerk and a loser. He will ignore your child, happens all the time. Your child is a child out of a relationship, that had no love. That guy never loved you, he has been playing your for years. His wife sounds unstable as well, because if you knocked someone else up while being married to me, you would be out the door. Birds of a feather flock together. Collect child support asap, and let him go.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes! You have the right. For one he has gone back and fourth repeatedly. Which sadly points too he feels more obligated to choose one than to stay with one of you base on true feelings. He couldn't commit to his wife. Now he's not committing to you. The fact his he may never. He's trying to get best of both worlds at his convinence.
    You have all the right to be upset especially when he doesn't remember or acknowledge your son's party. And that should be made claer. If he's not going to act like a father. She shouldn't be in the picture.
    A child will do better with a loving mother alone than with a dad who shows up and dissapears.
    And though I think you shouldn't try to have a romantic relationship with him again. If his behaviour changes. And your convinced or whatever the reason. You need to stand your ground that you are not someone's dirty little secret. And that if he wants to be in a relationship ship it needs to be known and acknowledge
    But bensure he I'd the father of your child you can't feel this way forever. And on a good day or when you get a chance you need to make it clear that he may not want to commit to you but he must commit to your son. His oldest is 15, growing up quick and though every kid needs his dad, he's pretty much set. In a few years he will be an adult. Your son is young and needs a solid base and bonding with his father. He needs to treat his sons equally

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  • You have a right to feel whatever you want.

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