I could use a guy's perspective?

Me and this guy were talking for almost two months and all of a sudden he told me he didn't have time to get into a relationship. But, he was doing everything to make a relationship happen. He was coming to my work to kiss me and coming see me at my house when he got off of working nights.

I just found out from one of my friends that he is going back to Iraq at the end of April. He was previously in the Army and I'm not sure why he's going back or what he's going back for. Anyways, could that be a reason I was pushed away?

When I asked him if he had feelings for me (before knowing about the deployment), his response was, "Not really." Everyone knew better than that because it was so obvious that he did have feelings, I guess I wanted validation and when I got that response from him, it broke my heart. Some are saying, he's pushing me away because he needs space, others are saying that the army thing puts everything into perspective and it all makes sense now, and some are saying, "you didn't give it up so he moved on."

Before he decided to quit talking to me, he told me that he was interested in me. He told me he thought I was beautiful and that he catches himself looking forward to talk to me. All of that is done now. We don't talk at all and it's eating me alive. I started falling for him and I can do nothing about it, except to accept it. I've tried communicating with him since and he's shut me down. I guess I just want a male perspective since most of my circle is girls. Lol


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What Guys Said 2

  • He is scared.

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    • Quite surely, it's genuine fear. He said he found himself look forward to talking to you - military service shatter all that. He is trying to be realistic about the situation.

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    • I can say with 99% confidence that he wants you as much as you want him. I also did service for 2 years, it has a way of messing up one's head. It's a very principled decision to leave you - characteristic of someone with military discipline. He doesn't know what would happen to him while he is in service - he doesn't want you to get even more hurt that you already are. He picks the lesser of two evils.

    • Well thank you. That does make me feel so much better. He did tell me that he never meant to hurt me and he apologized a couple times. But, when he said, "not really" to having feelings, my heart sunk. Lol and he was in the army for 8 years. He was a staff sergeant, I think. Anyways, one of my friends told me that his decision to keep me out of this situation is very "manly" of him and that she respects him because he's not stringing me along. But, that's so easy to say when you're not in a situation. I just want him. However I can get him at this point. I miss everything about him!

  • He prob genuinely doesn't have time for one and if he's going to Iraq he might be scared he will never see you again and wants to get you out of his mind so it doesn't get him killed. Im bad at wording but just know its most likely not you thats making him break up with you, but actually doesn't have time

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