Having a hard time getting over this guy?

I was dating a guy for about three months when suddenly he became "weird" on me. This is something I'm used to, but what he did next... Really caught me off guard. Dating him was fun: We had tons in common except he was slightly older with a child, and I had no children. We were both very educated and accomplished, and passionate about our futures. He did small, sweet gestures for me and even took the time to check on me when I was busy and on the go. About 2.5 months in, one night he told me that he "didn't know if I was going to go back to my ex or what," but that he wanted to "take things slow." Normally, I'd chill with this. But he went on to say "I want to keep doing things the way we have... Being intimate, going out, etc." He hadn't met my friends or family, and hadn't visited my home. I reacted poorly, asking him why he felt that way, and why it was ok for him to be intimate with me but "take things slow on committing." Terrible response. After a long discussion of him stating that he basically wanted to friend zone me, I accepted it and went on a couple of dates, a matter of days later. I figured if he wasn't ready for a relationship and I was still single, of course I'd take on these offers! He attempted to have sex with me and I coyly refused. I went on to invite him to "friend-like" events, and even took him out to eat. We discussed nothing relationship related. The last time I saw him, sadly; we had sex. He was very nervous and emotional about everything that night. I gave him a gift, and he called me extremely excited thanking me after opening it the next day. I called him a few days later to invite him out, and he seemed to be moving further away. I didn't hear from him for two weeks after that, and then I didn't hear from him ever again. Going through this has frightened me, badly. I'm now afraid to date. I am at an age where, I want to settle down but I'm very, very scared of this happening again. Please help me not be afraid of scaring guys off.

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What Guys Said 1

  • See, everyone passes through such hard time. He used you, but you should not expect every guy a potential player. If you won't date, then you will remain single FOREVER. You need to use your own intelligence in identifying people. He showed you bad signs but you kept contacting him, you payed for your mistake.
    Don't worry. everything will be okay. Start with a new beginning.

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