How to regain confidence?

Hey guys,
So I used to be very insecure when I was around 15-16, but I managed to work on it little by little. I'm 22 now and I grew into a pretty confident person. I have hobbies, passions, I exercise, I go out and party and I have loyal friends, I had a two year relationship based on respect in which I always managed to stand my ground when I felt like it was needed.

About three months ago, I met a guy and we started talking and I got to like him little by little. But he broke up with me out of the blue, because he wasn't over his ex. I know it's not my fault, but it kind of pushed every insecurity I had back to the surface. He's not the first guy to reject me, and I usually handle it pretty well.
But I don't know what happened there, it really knocked me to the ground.

It's been two weeks now, and I feel like my self-estime was hit really hard. I started feeling like I needed his approval. That hasn't happened since I was 15, and I'm scared that all of my efforts all these years were useless.

Did you ever feel like this? What do you do to get out of it and go back to living independently from someone else? I still do everything I used to do, but he's on my mind 24/7, and I don't even like him that much.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Try to look at this is a lesson that will make you even more stronger. All the progress you have made since you were fifteen, you are strong enough to handle this. I too have been dumped out the blue because he wasn't over his ex girlfriend. I was very insecure as a teenager as well and when this happened it knocked me down, I know what it feels like. Feels like building yourself up again but it's been a year and I got back on my feet, I have more confidence than before. Do things that makes you happy, talk to your friends about this and they will tell you over and over how he doesn't deserve you. Set up goals and do things you haven't done before. This takes time but the more you keep yourself occupied the sooner you will forget about him. Cry as much as you want to but not for too long. When time is right for you, you will find a man who won't do this to you but right now you should focus on yourself!

    • Thank you, that's actually very helpful! :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Marilyn Monroe had quote for guys for breakups, i'll switch up the words a bit and it goes something like this. "Alot of guys if not ALMOST most of them will break your heart, but there will be that ONE that won't. Don't ever give up on that". You need to look at what YOU want. 99.9% of the guys you see, the cute ones, hot ones, dorky ones, what have you, your not going to end up with them. But there will be that ONE eventually, you just can't see it now, I promise. That's how I got over my insecurities. You need to put some value to your own. You have SO MUCH to offer that other girls can't. The fact that this guy left the way he did, screw him, and be thankful your one step closer to THE ONE and now you know what you DON'T want. You DON'T want a guy who isn't over his ex. YOUR efforts all these years are NEVER a waste. They make who you are today. Sure you got knocked on your ass with this one. But look at it as a test that will only make you STRONGER than ever.


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