My boyfriend and I were together for two years and we broke up about 5 weeks ago. I suddenly feel heartbroken, what do I do?

My boyfriend and I were together for two years and we broke up about 5 weeks ago. The first 2 weeks, I was crying everyday and I just felt horrible. I wanted to die and I wanted to hurt myself because I was feeling so depressed and didn't know what I could do? I felt as if my world had ended and I literally made myself sick. I'm not a depressed type of person, although I do have my bad days but never like how I was feeling right after our break up. I'm also not a type to cry over anything and everything or become over sensitive. I see myself trying to be strong. After those 2 weeks I was feeling better although I still do miss him and love him and I believe he still loves me, even a little but he's not wanting to get back together. Anyways, I was feeling better, not crying anymore and not feeling as sad. Just last week (during spring break), he texted me out of the blue wanting to remain friends and keep a strong friendship. He wants to talk to me more and I was okay with that, if that meant that was the only way he'd still remain in my life. When he texted me I was feeling all types of mixed emotions. I actually cried but not sad tears, like tears just fell from my eyes and felt happy. We texted back and forth a little and I asked him a question but he didn't reply back and I thought he might've been busy so I waited all day and no text which then made me sad. A few days later I started the conversation about something else and the reason I got the impression that he wasn't over me was because I got upset and said "you can't just be friends with someone you're in love with as if nothing between us happened... You're over me" and his reply was "who ever said I was over you?" When we broke up, the day after I asked if we'd get back together and his reply was "what do you think? (And later again) I'm not saying we're not getting back together but you seemed like you were/weren't compatible with/without me" (sorry don't remember exactly words)
Updates:
I'm trying to accept the fact that we most likely won't ever be together although it's very difficult. It hurts a lot and lately these past few days I've been really down. We don't talk like the friends he wanted us to be, I'm a quiet person so I don't like talking much or starting conversations. He was my "first love" and first serious relationship though we are really young, he's a couple years older.
I have friends who tell him to get back together with me though I keep telling them not to because I feel as if he thinks I'm telling them to tell him that and he's getting annoyed with me and it's driving him further. I also had another friend tell me to "f*cking leave him alone, he doesn't f*cking want you anymore" like I didn't already know that

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Love hurts, but time heals all. Being friends with an ex generally does not work. It's only rare that ex lovers become friends. You need to close that chapter and delete everything that reminds you of him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you need to either define the relationship or move on. Don't let him keep you in limbo, because it could only hurt you. Tell him you need to define it, and if not then you're. If you don't end up together, start getting over him, if you feel like you can do that and still be friends go ahead. But if not don't feel guilty for not being able to be friends. Don't let him hold you back from getting back on your feet and being happy, and getting back out there again. It is normal to still have feelings for him. You will always love him, not always in the same way you once did. But you always will, because you did love him once like that, and he was a big part of your life.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • He is confusing you and it's hard because the break up made you unusually depressed. You need to go find some new interests and hobbies which have nothing to do with him to take you in some kind of new direction. If not, his friends and your friends will stay involved, and drag it out.

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