3 years doesn't mean nothing I guess?

i figure I'd give up a fight, he can have the other woman,or women.
I tried for so long to be a part of his life, he always kept me at arms distances. Was very friendly and at times flirty... But never acted on any of it, if I bought something up about hanging he's always to busy. But with other women he has no problem going to chill eat lunch, have dinner , just all together showing genuine interest... Me I had to work like a slave to get half of the attention he showed them. I took a breather for a while , I realized I couldn't go on jumping through hoops for a piece of affection some sought of clarity to a long 3year flirting friendship... So I woke up and realized he doesn't really like me like that and the past 3years was all my imagination. So I had to work through some issues cause I still liked him of course but did not want deal with anymore heart break... So I figured I'll stay away from him until I get a grip on reality. Now I think I can handle just being friends.... This guy is acting cold and out of character with me...also he's dating some one too or I suspect like another girl at the place we work so I get the cold shoulder, he can have her... I just don't know what to do about this cause it's unfair, I was the one there??help me get past this


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Most Helpful Guy

  • All can tell u is that it takes time. I know u dont wanna hear that but just let time heal u. And try finding somebody that really wants your attention. U see I'm kinda I the spot your in now I fell in love for the first time in my life and I fell hard af. And now she's acting different and a little distance towards me even thou she told me I had a chance of being with her or that she liked me and that I inspire her or that she wished her boyfriend was like me. And even thou she told me that she wanted to break up with him for college because they are going to differnt schools. And he confirmed that he wants to end it with her for collge also. It's just that she is the only girl I ever opened up to. I turned down so may girls just because I had feelings for her and wanted to show her that she was the only girl I would settled down for. I mean falling for her has changed me In so many ways. She changed me for the better. She even change the topic in the music I make. Now all I right are love songs or songs about being heart broken and she's all I think about, it's like even with all these women that want to get with me I ignore them because I want her. but you say 3 years I can only image the pain and heart break. I've only know this girl 8 months and it hurts like fuck. I mean that feeling of knowing that you gotta move on when you ache for a certain someone u want nothing more than to be with is painful af. I only wish I could help you because I know the pain. I'll even admit that I've sat in my room and cried at the thought of not be able to be with her. All I want to do is make her happy and love her unconditionally. but life isn't fatily tale right๐Ÿ˜”. but try to stay busy and meet new people to keep your mind off him. U know they say the oak u feel now is nothing compared to the joy that's coming. So keep your head held high and move on. I know it's a lot harder than it sounds because I'm here giving you advice that I can't follow becaue Im still in love with her.

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    • Wow, that was powerful. Thanks for sharing and your words of encouragement. It's all I could do, hope for better days. I'm so miserable without this man in my life. All these feelings and he was just a "friend". I guess I have done all I could do. Maybe it was never meant to be more than what it was,.. I guess the years of hoping, I thought the universe was on my side. Guess not.:( again thanks you were very helpful

    • Show All
    • Sorry things didn't change and I understand that its so hard to let go. But if u aim to accept the way things are its gonna take a while to actuality accept it. But my thing is I talk to her yesterday and I realized that she has a few more male friends but it's stricly platonic. I mean she isn't that type of girl I know she is faithful and honest. But my thing is she told me that she opens up to me more than she does to anyone else. And when she told me she wishes he was like me that means she has some type of feelings towards me. But the fact that she opens up to me more than anyone has me afraid that she maybe be to close and comfortable with me to date me. I mean a few months ago when I brought it up last October she told me I had a chance with her. But is her being this open with me a sign that I'm to much of a friend for her to see me as an option. Also he said he's wants to break up with her and if they do I fear she'll see me as a friend. Even thought she flirts with me & stuff

    • by the way way dose the fact that we have only met once give me any leverage if I'm too much of a friend to her. See when we met she approached me first and aks me to help her find her mom in the store and I dis. So I waited awhile and then I came back for her before she left and I got her number. But my thing is are my chances too low?

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What Guys Said 2

  • 3 years are indeed a long time... hope that experience made you a lot more cautioous basically...:-)

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    • Yeah, it did. Thank for stopping by.

  • Wow so long... anyways the moral of the sorry is he was never into you... he only saw you as a friend or he was just using you... This has happened to me with a girl.. I liked.

    What can i say.. SHIT HAPPENS. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’”

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    • Ugh, that's what I feared to, but it's what I believe. So u agree, I should cut ties?

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm basically going through the same thing, except I am sure he is interested back. However, because of work he won't do anything about it. There were times when I felt I should just switch shifts and cut him out of my life. However, recently he proved he wants me as a friend at least because he admitted as much.

    I was really upset because I thought he wasn't speaking to me about something that had happened at work. We went the entire week without saying a word to each other, and I would catch him glaring at me all the time. The Friday night it finally got to me, and I started crying at work. That is something I've never done, and hopefully won't have happen again.

    Our fellow co-worker noticed and asked me what was wrong. I told him it's because our co-worker was mad at me all week. So he went to talk to him. He came over to me and told me that it wasn't me he was mad at, but the situation. He also believed that I had been mad at him for overreacting. He explained right then and there how much I meant to him, and that I was a friend of his and he was very sorry for making me feel upset.

    I've noticed in the past if I've been mad at him for something (it doesn't happen often, but it does sometimes) it bothers him a lot. He hates it. He hated it when we didn't talk for four months because he wasn't at work, and neither of us had each others numbers. I lost his number when my phone got wet, and he upgraded his phone. He'd broken his leg when that happened.

    From what I overhear him saying to other co-workers, he won't date me because he doesn't want things awkward at work.

    I hate working with him everyday and wanting him and hearing about his dates with other women. I love the fact that he does want my friendship, and that I do mean a lot to him. I just hate that we might never ever be more. Recently I overheard him tell a co-worker not to bring up his dates in front of me again. So I guess he wants to spare my feelings.

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  • Maybe try not to think about him at all. Then try to aim all your focus on something you might want to improve? Like if you want to get into better shape, Work on having better grades, get better with video games, etc .

    Men don't need women and women don't need men. It's nice to have a special someone. Just nobody needs one to live and have a happy life. Live for yourself first before anyone else.

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