Can decide which option for me and this girl’s friendship?

For more details, I have this question: https://www.girlsaskguys.com/break-up-divorce/q1391209-should-i-keep-this-girl-as-a-friend

Essentially, I liked a girl and we talked almost everyday for 7 months, but I didn’t make any major moves (due to shyness and fear of messing up). She started dating someone else, and when I asked her about it we confessed our feelings for each other.

She said she’s liked me since highschool, but after we started talking she didn’t think it was going anywhere, but still liked me in her life. I told her I still do like her, so I’m not sure what she wants to do. She said she would hate to lose me as a friend, but she doesn’t want me to end up hating her or feeling miserable, so it’s up to me whether we stay friends or not. I told her I didn’t know and needed to think things over, and she said “That’s fine. Do what you need to” (which sorta sounds like she’s expecting me to come back).


Anyway, that was 3 days ago and I haven’t decided what to do yet. The way I see it, I have a few options:

1. 100% No Contact: Leave things where they currently are, cut my losses, and move on

2. Closure, then no contact: Text her back and say I can’t be friends, then cut my losses and move on

3. Closure, but leave myself open: Text her back and say I don’t think I can be just friends with her, but leave myself open and say I’m always here if she needs me

4. Minimal Contact: Start seeing other people, but text her back and say I can try and be friends. Keep her around, but I won’t stress about always texting her back or keeping conversations going

5. Continue talking as a friend: Text her back, be a friend, tell her I’ll get over her, and probably tell her just don’t talk about her boyfriend to me. Still start to see other people, but if her relationship ends and I’m single, maybe consider finally making a move
  • 100% No Contact
    Vote A
  • Closure, then no contact
    Vote B
  • Closure, but leave myself open
    Vote C
  • Minimal contact
    Vote D
  • Continue talking as a friend
    Vote E
  • I wanna see the results
    Vote F
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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What Guys Said 1

  • It depends to be honest. If you think you can stay friends with her without interfering in her current relationship then by all means, do it. But if you'll start getting in the middle of their relationship then it'll be completely unfair to her boyfriend so you'll have to deal with that and not completely fuck him over

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    • Yeah, that's why if I do talk to her, I'm gonna tell her not to talk about her boyfriend. If she asked me for advice or anything about him, I'd probably end up giving her terrible advice.
      And as much as I want them to break up, I also want her to be happy.

    • Show All
    • Well now you're just dipping into morals. I guess it depends on the perspective. I think it's wrong and unfair to purposefully try and create a wedge in a relationship, even if it's just with your presence. If you know that because of your complicated relationship with a girl, your presence around her can lead to her pulling away from her boyfriend then yeah, I think that's wrong because you're doing something most would consider as wrong for personal gain.

      Again, it would depend on who you are in this case and whatnot but that's just my opinion.

    • To clarify, when I said do what most would consider wrong - I mean most would consider it wrong to disregard someone and purposefully create misfortune and bad things for them (her current boyfriend) for your own personal gain (you then being able to be with her).

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