Most difficult situation of my life?

I am not going to add many details but this is completely serious and I am at a loss.

Long story short: I am a newly wed that I feel like I jumped into a marriage faster than I was ready for-- and a childhood friend just came back into my life and I am realizing that I am truly in love with him, he is ready for a commitment with me but I am already married.

My husband and I fight all the time and despite having dated for a while and getting married, I now realize that the way my childhood friend makes me feel is on a completely different level?...

Call me shallow, heartless, stupid etc if you will but the heart wants what it wants and I can't possibly be the only one going through this. help please?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Gotta do what makes you happy girl.

    Life is too short to be miserable.

    Just don't be an idiot next time and marry the dude prematurely.

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What Guys Said 6

  • It's safe to assume, isn't it, that you love and are loved by your childhood friend under such circumstances? Why, of course it is.

    Having said that, you haven't experienced the trials and nuances of being in a serious relationship with him, or have you? You haven't shared the expenses and responsibilities of living day-in and day-out with him, nor have you shared the difficulties of resolving such issues.

    I mean, the guy spends time with you, presses your buttons, and then he is off. Leaving you in the clouds. Making down the likely place to go from there with your husband, considering the rift you have with him.

    Personally, I suggest that you avoid ending your marriage as the result. Exhaust all avenues to sustain it prior to reaching a decision to part ways.

    Otherwise, it just may comeback to bite you.

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  • "but the heart wants what it wants" Perfect excuse to do dumb shit. Just remember it always catches up with you. I'll be laughing my ass of if you divorce and while with the new guy you realise you actually want to be with your future ex husband. My advise is to stop for a second and thing with your head for once. Try to figure out what is the problem with you husband and try to fix it. You can always get divorced but once you start burning bridges it is a one-way trip.

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  • I was married once... I know what a tough decision it is. Are you Christian?

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    • Catholic. Which means that if I get a divorce, I will be the black sheep of the family.

    • Ouch, Catholic is even harder on divorces than protestant. Well, I'll tell you what I learned when I was put in that situation. This is something every christian needs to know about marriage, but you will never hear a pastor or priest speak these words:

      Christians have the responsibility to love their spouses "until death do they part". You are supposed to use the lord's love for you, and reflect that love in the way you love your husband. This is not easy for sure. God's love is endless, infinite, and completely forgiving of all trespasses. You can lie to him, you can curse his name, you can spit in his face in any way imaginable, and he will still love you. God would do anything for you, and he charges each and every one of his followers to love your husband the way that god loves you.

      If you love your spouse the way that god wants you to, then you would rather die yourself before leaving them. I know this is probably not what you want to hear, and I'm sorry.

    • I tell you what, take the love dare. It's a 40-day process that is designed to help married christian couples. If you still want to get divorced after doing the love dare, then it's probably meant to be. Here is a link:

      realchristianity. files. wordpress. com/2011/12/fireproof_-_the_love_dare. pdf

  • Follow your heart, life is too short.

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  • Ugh. Divorce him, but be decent and don't take his belongings or money, since your commitment is so easily broken. WTF is the point of marriage if it's nothing more to you than an inconvenience for hooking up with the latest grass-is-greener guy?

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    • And women wonder why men don't want to marry. Seriously. "The heart wants what it wants." Grow up.

    • I knew there would be people like you who wouldn't grasp the whole picture. which is understandable because you would have to know the back story and much more to get an accurate portrayal of the whole idea.

      regardless, Love is love, and I have to follow my heart. It obviously wasn't my plan to fall for someone I've known since I was in diapers-- it just happened. I would prefer an annulment (since we are newlyweds) instead of continuing on while emotionally cheating on my husband. Yes- he deserves much better than what I'm able to give him, which is my point for posting the question.

    • Doesn't make it any less pathetic. And it isn't love. It's infatuation, a temporary little mood swing that you're going to let sway your future. But you're right--you're husband deserves better. Kinder to let him have it.

  • People do this in movies all the time and I don't get people who judge people who do it in real life. If u are fighting, divorce him because of it, just don't start dating your guy friend right away

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    • You know, I actually never thought of it that way. you're right that it does happen in movies but I just never expected it to happen to me! :( thanks for responding!

What Girls Said 1

  • If you don't like your husband, then file for divorce. Don't understand why you would marry someone you don't even like.

    Just keep in mind that there's no guarantee you'll be with this childhood friend of yours.

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    • I never said I didn't like my husband-- I love him actually. However since getting married, I realize that the love I have for my childhood friend is way stronger

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