How do I break up with a guy of almost 2 years?

I've been woth him for 2 years in June and a lot has happened in that time. Weve been to Europe together. His family has put on a bday for me and he's sat and watched sports with my dad. Just a bit of insight into how close we are. The thing is though, I dont want to be in a relationship and haven't for some time now. I've tried to be what he wants to have but my heart and mind keep going in a different direction. Everytime I've tried he gets really upset and I've been scared to back my decision up out of fear. I have given the relationship a good go and there has been a lot of ups but heaps of downs because he's made me enragely angry in the past right up until now because of certain issues and things he's done. I dont want to sleep with other guys or even be intimate with one as im not interested what so ever. Im over guys!! I dont have trust for them that they wouldn't cheat or have desires to be with another chick. But he always accuses me of that and gets aggressive with his body language calling me this and that until I give in and say "ok dont worry we will work things out" baha...fuck me dead! So any tips? Mature people welcome.
Updates:
Thanks gals/guys.. very helpfull!!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly you must be yourself. You are not there for anyone else when the time comes to part. He will hurt like hell, you might hurt, too, when you think back over the good times. But if it is time to end it, be gentle but firm. Don't let yourself be open to emotional blackmail. A true man will have to accept the inevitable, and take it on the chin. It's not going to be easy, it never, ever is!! You might both shed buckets of tears. That's all part of the process of breaking up. Don't be ashamed to cry, but don't be swayed if he cries too. And please don't be so down on men. There are some real good guys out there. My dad was one of them. He and my mum idolised each other. they were soulmates. OK, my mum doesn't want another guy, but it's not because he was a bad person. My sis and I had a wonderful childhood. I hope you will find a good guy, you are worth it. He will let you be yourself, will always be honest with you. Forget what his family did for you. You can't hang in there because of past events. I don't envy you and what must be done. All I can say is take good care!!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That attitude, as I'm sure you know, isn't healthy (the trust issue with guys). So it would actually be beneficial for you NOT to be in a relationship in my opinion so that you can work on it.

    I would simply be honest with him. Go to a crowded place so he won't make a scene and break the news to him there. Tell him that you haven't felt like you wanted to be in a relationship for a long while and you only stayed out of fear... which is NOT healthy.

    On top of that, he doesn't respect you. A guy who cared for you and/or was rational wouldn't get aggressive because you're trying to break up and call you names. He sounds toxic to me and I think being with him longer will give you a WORSE impression of your trust issues (and possibly men) then you already have.

    Please get out. If you need me to talk to him or something, I will be glad to.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Be true to yourself and trust your gut... I know how tough it was to walk away from my first wife and the doubts if i'm doing the right thing etc... but after it all settles out you'll be much happier and he needs to mature a bit i think.
    run forest, run!
    It'll be tough for a while but you need to do it!

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  • Your not doing him any favours by holding on... sounds like your pretty much made your mind up, so just leave.

    There is no easy way, other than just being honest. My ex and I were together 24 years... when its done its done, once you realize it, its just a matter of explaining it to them preferably in as calm a manner as possible.

    It may not be the greatest feeling at the time, but the weight could come off both of your shoulders, once it is out there. He will likely realize soon after that he was not happy either.

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  • Well did he cheat on you in the past or treated you like shit?

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What Girls Said 2

  • i think you are at stage 3 becoming a whore. however, what good is the world without the whores? we run the world. it's good to have your own opinion. I was like advanced stage and then be a whore.. i mean if things doesn't work that way why not but then... getting some attention all of sudden from far away. I guess coming out is more important than pretending good and expecting to get some attention. be a whore!

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  • Honestly I think that you might have to break up with him over the phone or text just because of the fear of his reaction. You shouldn't have to be in a relationship that you are not happy in and he needs to understand that and respect you decision. Don't put up with it any longer and just call him and tell him that you do not want to be with him anymore and that he needs to respect that.

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