I met this guy back in December and we've been talking since then. In January after we both returned to school from winter break (we're both in college), he asked me what we were relationship wise and I told him I figured we were dating and trying to get to know each other before we decided to make it exclusive. After that he ignored me for the rest of the month. I didn't hear from him until the beginning of Februrary. He apologized for pushing me away. I accepted the apology and we continued from where we left off but I wasn't sure what to expect. He asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend and I said yes even though I probably should have said no. I guess I was excited because he actually liked me.
Now a month later we just broke up because he told me that he never wanted to date me. This came from me telling him our communication sucked and that we really need to work on it. That's when he told me. He said that he always wanted to be friends but didn't know how to tell me. He also said that he didn't want to stop being around and wanted to remain a part of my life so he felt obligated to ask me out.
I don't know what to do or think. This was my first relationship ever and now I find out that the whole time it wasn't even real. I told him that, that he was a waste of time and that we shouldn't hang out or see other anymore period. He got pissed and didn't understand why we had to stop being friends or seeing each other. The whole time I treated it as a real relationship while he was pretending the whole time, and he didn't care. My feelings were and still are real and he doesn't care. He didn't lose anything, so he doesn't have a reason to be upset. Thank god we never had sex (I'm still a virgin). All of this happened through text, and he still has to come by to drop off this money he owes me. Should I even bother to listen to his explanation? Should I even give him a chance to let him be my friend? Do I even count this as a relationship, even if it wasn't real?
Most Helpful Guy
"Does it count as a relationship?" It's something that you felt strongly about, so it counts for you.
"Should I even give him a chance to let him be my friend?" You don't think he's a nice person, so why would you want to be friendly with him? So I think no. He's upset because you called him out for being a jerk and his anger is a defensive reaction because he is unable to even consider the possibility that he behaved badly. He sounds extremely insecure to me. You are lucky you didn't get any more involved with him. Now you know the warning signs and can avoid guys like him.
And no, he doesn't have to "come by" to drop off the money he owes you. If you have bank accounts he can use paypal or google wallet to send you money, or he can just push an envelope under your door with a check or cash.0
Most Helpful Girl
I see so much of my story in yours. I was friends with this guy for a year. Net him when I was 21 and I had never been in a relationship and I really liked him. We had a real connection but maybe it wasn't romantic.
he asked me to be his girlfriend and he broke up with me 3 months later and still maintains that he loves me. I truly believe he cares. I could bet a lot on that.
its honestly not a nice feeling, you ask yourself what you lack that others had that he had wanted. I know. But that's life hey. You win some you loose some. Just take your time to heal from it. And tell yourself that if he felt no rush to snatch you up then he wasn't the guy for you right now.
one day you will want someone who will choose to be with you and stay. Until then take it one day at a time and if you need your space then take your time. He may have not meant to hurt you but you are hurt unfortunately. Of you end up friends again then great, if you don't then itl be what's best for you. Either way it is an experience... One of the many experiences you will have in life.
I really can relate and I hope you will be okay and find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.3