Is it me or is it him?

7 months together on and off. Saw each other once a week or every other 2 weeks (2 day overnight stay each time). Kind of long distance.

Talked or texted every day or every other day.. sometimes 3 days apart. (Our schedules conflicted). We were in love and exclusive, but in the beginning I didn't want a relationship BUT we were still exclusive.

2 months ago, he ignored a text from me for 2/3 DAYS then texted me again as if NOTHING HAPPENED. I told him that it hurt my feelings when he did that. He eventually apologize.

Valentine's weekend: amazing. Following week couldn't see him (we didn't even text/call the entire week. I texted the next day. Great convo). He texts me weekend after vday weekend, I didn't respond for almost 3 hours(was busy), he calls me immature and gets really upset that "I'm so busy I can't even respond." Red flag. I call him a hypocrite as he goes DAYS ignoring me.

4 weeks passed, we've communicated maybe 10 times. didn't see each other. I ask him "did I do something wrong?" "Do you want to end this." He says No. 9 out of those 10 times over 4 weeks I initiated convo!!! I tell him I can't do it anymore he says he didn't understand. I explained his lack of interest.

We didn't communicate for a week. He texts me. I ignore it (actively trying to get over it instead of participating in a cycle). Days later he texts again. I eventually respond. 2 days later we "reconcile" via chatting on the phone. Again we don't talk for a week (haha)

I tell him "I will be okay if this ends... I'd rather not extend it because it hurts more knowing that something is obviously wrong and you aren't being truthful. I love you and I'm hurting and I'm just asking for you to acknowledge I exist sometimes or end it since it seems like that's what you want."

He responds "wtf are you talking about."

Officially over. Am I losing it? Haha

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  • If you're seeing this guy exclusively and he is only involved with you, then that's a relationship without the label. If you didn't want a relationship with him then you shouldn't have been involved with him if you knew he did want a relationship. It would be confusing for him and he might have felt like you were just leading him on without committing to him, I'd get pissed too.

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    • I'd also be pissed if 7 months in I said I didn't want a relationship. I said that in the beginning* (like 1 month in before we even slept together).

      I'm talking about 7 months in, not one month in.

      My question is about his distant behavior/ignoring me for DAYS and him flipping out if I took 3 HOURS to respond to him haha

      I've figured it out, though. He's just a manipulator and I'm happy I pulled the plug before getting in deeper.

      Thanks for your opinion!

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    • I see your point and it makes sense.

      So let us say it wasn't a relationship.

      I didn't get the respect I was giving.

      Let us call him my friend. He still is manipulative in that he was dishonest about his feelings. He didn't hold himself to the standard he held me. I can't see how I was manipulative* because I was honest* throughout*

      Perfect and ridiculous example: ignore me for days *and* flip out when he doesn't receive response within hours.

    • If you didn't feel respected by him, then yeah, don't have him in your life. Everyone has the right to feel respected.

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