Girls, question about being newly single?

I'm a newly single 45 year old who has had only one sex partner. Is this something that I should avoid talking about


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29

Most Helpful Girl

  • Actually yes. Why should you talk about your past sex life with a new potential partner?

    If you don't feel comfortable or are a bit shy, or want to wait, whatever, that's fine. But I wouldn't talk about past sex life.

    If my bf spoke about past sex life it would put me right off! I don't want to talk about what he has done with other people or imagine it. Would you wanna know about theirs? Or just happy to feel like it's all new together?

    If someone you date asks you about previous sex life I would think that imature. Teeneagers say 'how many people have you slept with' to bfs or gfs.

    If you feel the need to talk more deeply about it, talk with a friend you can trust... not a new potential.

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    • So true!! I think unless the topic is brought IP there should be no need to disclose, it is a bit of a turn off lol

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 28

  • I'm sure it'll come up eventually, but no, that's not a first date opener. Honestly, if you're so concerned about it that you mention it early on, she's going to be concerned about it. Let it be - it's just a fact. When it comes to actual sex, your new partner are either going to enjoy themselves or they aren't. Be open about being willing to learn, but honestly, anyone who hears you were married for an extended period of time is going to know there's going to be a learning curve. After all, even if you'd had multiple partners beforehand, you'd still build habits catering to one woman that you're going to be changing now that there's new partners with different preferences.

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  • I prefer men who have as little experience as possible but I have to like him as well. I would not date a guy with a lot of sexual experience as he is more likely to cheat on me or dump me when I get ugly and old.

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    • Maybe true. But I do have a lot of sexual experience. Just with one person. I just don't know if what worked with my late wife will work with other women.

    • By sexual experience I don't mean comfort level with the idea of sex, I mean number of sexual partners. I don't want a guy with a high sexual count.

  • Don't mention this but if they bring it up say that you've only been with one persons before... Honestly this is amazing... Like @523206720 said its lovely for a woman to find a man with not much experience, you seem pure and more husband material than playboy.

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  • That is so sweet. It shouldn't be something you should be embarrassed about or anything. Girls will find that attractive :)

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  • I would thjnk this isn't something that comes up in normal conversation until and unless you have been dating someone for a while and they ask about your sexual history. It's not like you go on a date and she would randomly ask hey how many people have you slept with. If someone did that to me on a date the answer would be "none of your business." And I certainly hope you won't just throw that out there without being asked.

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  • That's something you should talk about with your next lover not with a date... I have always thought and still do one should not speak of their past lovers with new lovers because the other can use it to manipulate you

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  • I bet you are good at what you do.. I can be your second experience, haha ;P

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  • After I had gotten divorced and started dating, I was 40 and I had only been with one guy, so I sort of understand your feeling, though, of course, these things aren't quite the same for men and women.

    I find it's always better to be honest.

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  • Yes. Maybe not right off the bat, but as you grow closer to to her it would be something to include, and it'd also be relevant then vs. sooner.

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  • Not really to avoid. If it makes one comfortable or proud with honesty to talk about, then why not. :)

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  • the less people a man has been with i find so much more attractive, when i got with my kids dad he had only been with 5 woman and he was 20 back then and i loved it so much! most guys slept with loooads and its a complete off put! he did end up sleeping with 8 other woman in our now ended relationship though.

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  • Just be honest. Whatever happens to come up. If she doesn't like it too bad. It's a plus you didn't sleep around a lot.

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  • Never avoid yourself. Never avoid who you are.

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  • I dont see why it would be relevant unless she really wants to know?

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  • I would leave some thing as privelaged information, answer if asked about it. if not, never off extra information. even though this is not necessarily going to be viewed as a negative thing.

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  • No that would 've dishonest. It's not something you need to talk about on the first date or anything, but it should be said at some point. Could be sexy to some women.

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  • If you feel like you want to become closer/more long term in the relationship then yes. You could use that as a good thing to filter out the guys who don't really care about you :)

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  • If it comes up on conversation if the woman's mature it shouldn't be a problem

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  • This is so sweet, cute and lovely, I wouldn't mind that:)

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  • I prefer guys who don't have that much experience so that I'm less afraid of being used

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  • Never avoid talking about something

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  • Watch the movie, "Crazy, Stupid, Love" it's your blueprint for getting back out there

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  • no you shouldn't be ashamed.

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  • Honesty is always the best policy. Although, if she has been around a bit and you like each other, I wouldn't judge her too much. It might make her feel bad/insecure/hurt. I don't want to be with a guy that has been with a lot of women, I don't want a disease.

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  • Just don't make her uncomfortable if she has been with 20 and everything will be fine...

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  • You don't need to be taking about sex histories to anyone until marriage plans begin to emerge. Then it either won't matter but assume this will be sweet to hear.

    You would be better served to simply suggest you had ONE really big love, a long term relationship, as that would be a major PLUS to most gals attracted to you... but don't USE this as a hook to attract, this is only an answer to those that care/ask

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  • That's actually amazing and sweet. I wouldn't discuss right away but once you get to know someone be honest about it. Chances are a new women would be more concerned about your view on how many partners she's had as most of us have a few more than that. I'm newly single too and made the mistake of being too honest too soon. Guess I just like the honesty and not playing games. Probably just a good idea to avoid the subject for a while.

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  • You'll probably act more awkward if you try to talk around it. If it's just casual sex you're shooting for, no biggie... But dating wise, it's worth discussing. Most women you'll be dating will be 35+ and have their own histories and it can bring you together, honestly.

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