Is this closure real or a lie?

After months of not talking/seeing my ex, I went round his after he called telling me he wasn't coping well and that he'd started taking drugs.
Foolishly, I went round and to start with, it was like it was back to normal, he was hugging and kissing me (despite me questioning whether it was a good idea) and eventually we both fell asleep.

When we awoke, it was like a completely different person was standing in front of me! After asking what was going on, I got handed the "I don't want a relationship" to which I replied quite furiously "You're on dating websites asking for a relationship" to which he then said, "Cos everyones on there"... He's not himself anymore, his dad died late last year and he's constantly battling with the thoughts that he's no longer around. He's alienated himself from all his friends and family, and has now sadly turned to drugs and drink...
He says he doesn't want to drag me through everything he's going through and that maybe one day we'll get back together, but he can't tell me right now.
He doesn't want me to be with anyone else, but he doesn't even want to be with me either.

Do men lie when giving closure? Or do people think this is a legit answer from someone who's grieving the loss of a parent AND a relationship that they couldn't handle?

I stupidly love him, and want to wait to see that maybe, he might find himself again and get some help... but I'm thinking that's a total waste of my time...

HELP? Going mad!
I might also add, this said ex admitted to doing a little dating webste/social media stalking of me... he admitted to viewing my dating profile cos he knew I could see it...
I'm too confused :(


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What Guys Said 2

  • Closure comes from within not from an empty explanation from a person, once you accept the present, stop dwelling on what was and look to the future only then will you have closure. Honestly that relationship the way it was and is now is just very toxic, waiting for someone to be the person you want them to be is utterly ridiculous. move on there's always someone better out there for you.

  • the notion that you need the other person for a closure is a lie.

    people should read actions and reality and close the situation themselves, independently


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