( I really need very honest opinions) what is the best way to breakup with your boyfriend/girlfriend when you don't have a reason to?

i love my boyfriend so much and he's a big part of my life now and we share everything together, we talked about our future together and we have planned for everything but i realised he is better off without me. i want him to move on and find someone who really can be with him and build a future with him, just when i think about this i cry for a very long time. I know this will hurt him and destroy his life and maybe he will kill himself as he promied many times but i think it's the best for him, i can be in his life as his friend nothing more than that. the truth is i hide something and i have lied about it i didn't tell him about it until now but i know if i told him he will never ever forgive me for it. what do you think???


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like you still want to be with him but don't think he would stick around if he knew everything about you. If you still have feelings for him sit him down and talk to him, then both of you together decide where its going to go.

    Now IF you really don't want to be with him just pull the band aide off and get it over with. Tell him you just don't feel the same anymore and think its best if finds someone who will care about him the way he deserves. Do NOT try to be his friend, at least not until some time has passed and you both have had time to heal. Being friends with someone you are in love with but can't be with will keep the wound open.

    Think long and hard about your choice, but once you make it don't look back.

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    • this is so hard i don't how to do it but i'm pretty sure that i can't tell him what i hide and i really love him but i can't stay with him

    • No matter which road you go down it will be hard. Its best to just do it and get it over with so you can both move on.

Most Helpful Girl

  • What, are you gay? I read your thread and your Q&A... SO, what's so terrible? . Is it that you never really loved him in the first place?

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    • What? i"m not gay and i loved him from all my heart this is number one
      number two i said it's something about me which means i can't tell anyone about it

    • Ok, well I wish you luck

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What Guys Said 5

  • You have a reason tho and a very selfless one at that which is admirable. Stringing someone along is unhealthy for you both and it will be hard at first but in the long run you'll both be better off. I feel like I kinda know already but what is it that you're hiding? Feel free to message me if you don't want to say it on here.

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    • why you want to know it? don't worry i didn't cheat on him and i won't do it

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    • it's not cheating or love or anything like that. it's just about me and this lie is getting bigger everyday, every time i want to talk to him about it or just breakup with him he make it so hard for me

    • I mean without knowing I don't get it but do what you feel is right. I think if you're okay with not having him in your life you should cut ties and let someone else who wants him in their life be there for him. It's for the best

  • You could as well just tell him the truth about that and see what happens, as long as he doesn't kill you over it. Maybe you can figure things out?

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  • Get her to crush on another guy.

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    • how?

    • help them to get acquainted is a first step. Often the guy will do what's needed.

    • Once you introduced the other, often ll you need to do is to give less attention , be less accessible, ignore their wishes. Create some emotional void thus. The other will jump in it.

  • if i didn't have a reason.. y break-up?

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  • so you had an abortion?

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    • What? no :o

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    • no, it is part of him also, he should have a say so... but she didn't have on so it doesn't matter...

    • Didn't see her comment before I posted.

What Girls Said 2

  • Ok, so don't think you should not be together because you think he's better than you. Get that right out of your head! He's with you and saying all those wonderful things because he means it. That's perfect that you want what's best for him, but with almost any case imaginable, it's best to let the individual make his or her own decisions and for you to love and support him, of course with help and guidance along the way if needed, but best not to make "what's best for him" decisions.

    Now, whatever you lied to him about, does this lie continue to come up in conversation? One time deal? Something regarding your past, before you met him? If you really can't live with yourself, I've found it best to just tell him the truth and live with the consequences, and the sooner the better. If he wants to break up, that's his decision. If he wants to stay with you and work things out, you say you love him dearly, so do put in the effort to make things work.

    Bottom line, don't ever think someone is too good for you, especially when you're already dating them! And best thing is to have an open line of communication with the one you love.

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  • Just tell him whatever you hid/lied about

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    • no i can't say it to him it will change a lot of things

    • And dumping him won't?

    • It's easier than dumping him. And it'll take away that uncertainty

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