Boyfriend and I are on a "break", says we're not breaking up, but we haven't spoken in 2 weeks. Taking his time to think, or breaking up with me?

My boyfriend (29) and I have been together for almost a year and we're really happy together, but we had been getting into more fights lately, and our last one was particularly bad (bad fight, but lame reasons). I called him a few days later to say sorry and talk it out. He said thanks to me for saying sorry, but when I asked to see him, he said he wasn't ready and wanted some time for himself. I asked him if he was breaking up with me, and he said no but that he wants to think. I said I loved him, but he didn't say it back to me.

At the time I thought maybe he needed time to cool off, so I was ok to wait for when he was feeling better. Usually, he's ok again after a few days, but this time, two weeks is unusual and I haven't heard from him at all. He's not the shady type so I know that there is no other girl in the picture, and prior to this fight, we were very much in love with each other (we hang out with each others friends and family, and had made a bunch of vacation plans for the next few months).

It feels awful that he hasn't reached out to me at all since the fight. Can he really still be thinking about it for so long? If he wanted to break up with me, why didn't he just say so when I asked him?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Two weeks and NOTHING?

    = /

    I'd say very good chances it's over. At most, "some time to think" really shouldn't take more than a few days--3-4 tops, so I've no clue wtf he's doing.

    It seems like a break up. It's just very surprising that he isn't saying it. Lame. Especially after having been together for almost a year.

    (also, if you guys are already getting into that many fights w/i the first year, perhaps it's better that you're not together)

    CHEERS!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems with taking this 'Break' now here, he is also taking his space with time needed that he may be enjoying a bit because he never had much of a chance with your romance for 'Almost a year' and hopefully counting, to do. Give him some more time and let him do some soul searching.
    However, if it gets to be a Month of Mondays and he hasn't reached out, you need to contact him and ask him what's up? Ask him where you stand and if he is happy to Continue this Break that you feel he is hinting around as "Maybe we should break up."
    He may be mulling over in his own mind that he doesn't want to be in a Real Relationship right now. He could get real cozy and comfy with you both doing this Break and get used to it.
    However, many times over, Break or Break up, there is always the Missing the Kissing and the history you both shared that always play a... part.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • A "break" is a break-up. When people say that they don't want to commit to the relationship, but they don't want to completely end it, as a safety-net, until they figure out if they have something better outside the relationship. Couples don't make their relationship better by spending time apart, avoiding the problem, you have to be together and identify the issue, then discuss it and work on creating a more harmonious relationship, and determine how you can make it more fulfilling for both of you, that can't be done when you're not interacting. I wouldn't wait around for some guy who ditched you. End the relationship, clear and cut, so there isn't any confusion.

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  • Have you tried talking to him after that? Maybe ask whether you to could meet up for a drink or coffee? Good luck with it! I hope it turns out well for you :)

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    • I said to him to let me know when he's ready, and he said ok, so I haven't tried to talk to him so that I could give him his space =/ It's hard to feel like I'm waiting for an unknown answer...

    • Well maybe you should try giving him a call! You honestly never know if you don't try. He could honestly be waiting for your call!

  • I was in the same situ last year. He said to me he wasn't closing the door on us. I text tho I called round in announced then one day I didn't then he text me this went on for three weeks. Now in back to square one with really lame reasons etx. Am deviatated but this time I'm not txting I'm not making a foul of myself. Hopefully he has the space and needs me back we are so in love with eachother he's is my world my soul mate and vice versa. Just don't text him or pester guys like when girls respect them. ad be interested to know what happens xxx

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  • He might have flaked out on you. He didn't have the guts to say it's over.

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