Guys, ex clearly says he wants to be friends, but I don't know if I believe or trust him (or if it's all in my head)?

Messy story: I went out with someone for a year two years ago, broke up with him when it went long-distance for a year for the pathetic reason that he insisted I visit at some pt and I didn't think I could manage the trip, he tried to get back together but communication wasn't great so things got unclear, at the end of the year he started seeing a girl he'd made at his study abroad uni. Then he started playing us off each other, saying he liked both of us at once, broke up with her, we had a bust-up, and he went back to her. (Nasty experience but fine.) This was all back last September.

We're in our final year at uni together and see each other a lot. For the past several months, I was angry/hurt; he made it clear he was taken, and only wanted to be friends--but obviously it's been a rocky friendship.

Then 1) a mutual acquaintance started showing interest in me (I think), 2) I heard the ex and the girl broke up a couple weeks ago (don't know if this is true).

Ex is at times v affectionate, he'll give me weirdly long hugs (when I'm not angry at him). I pointed this out yesterday (trying to gauge if he still has feelings or a girlfriend) and he just reiterated how 'sad' the situation is (which makes me think they're still together). He says he wants me to still contact him, just not in the 'unhealthy' way I'd been doing, and be normal friends.

we're doing exams so dating isn't a priority, but: is the ex just using me, am i on the backburner, does he want to repair our interactions with a view to a rs in the future? if he's single i don't want to start seeing sm1 else I'm not sure about (the way he did!). However, I'm afraid to ask because I don't want to get hurt again if he isn't single/is but isn't interested. (I also don't want to weird him out--I've spent the entire year pretending not to care/to hate him). It's impossible to be 'normal' friends w/o feelings emerging. I know I should just move on but the reason for the breakup was so dumb I can't.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He said he want to be normal friend. Take his word for it. He will have to make the move if he want you back. Single or not doesn't matter, if he want to be with you he will broke up with his gf to be with you.

    Start seeing someone you are sure about then. Life just have to keep going.

    Personally, I never go back to my ex, they call it "ex" for a reason, you "X" them out from being potential mate, forever.

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