I'd been with this girl, let's call her M, for many years. She helped me out of a difficult part of my life when I quit my job (there was a bit of a conflict of morals with my employers) and got me an amazing position working in the same company as her. It was great for a while, but once we broke up (she left me) it was really awkward seeing her around the office. It seemed like she still loved me, but there was something stopping her from being with me. It was so painful, I couldn't bear being around her constantly, but not being with her.
Things got better for a while, we tended to bond over taking the mick of this dick in the office. It felt good to be friends with her. That was, until, she died. I won't go into details about her death, it's a little too painful to take reliving. I keep hearing vile rumors that her death was staged or something equally ridiculous, it's common place in a large office like ours for gossip to spread.
I've been off on sick leave for a few months now, I suffered serious damage to my body in an accident. In honesty, I'm a tough guy, well build and around 6'3''. I can deal with the pain from my injuries for sure, I've been ready to return to work for a while now. I just can't...not with her gone forever. I'll never even know why, when she clearly still loved me, she couldn't be with me.
All I do now is sit around my apartment working out for hours, smoking cigarettes and drinking black label.
What should I do? How is a guy meant to deal with this kind of pain? How can I ever move on? Should I trust the rumors?
Most Helpful Guy
Sorry to hear about the tragic loss. I can't relate to your exact situation, but like any loss I think the most common way to deal with the pain is to just give it time. Time will heal.
Apart from this, try to spend time with friends and family and spend time enjoying yourself. If you enjoy working out and drinking from time to time so be it. But it would probably be wise to cut down on the drinking and smoking..
Basically try to keep yourself busy, return to work if you can, it will help you. You also won't be the only friend she had there, so you could even relate to others about her loss.
As for the rumours, don't even listen to them. Starting to ponder such things are true, coupled with the grief of losing someone close can really lead down a rocky road.0