What's the First Thing You'd Do If You Found Out Your Partner was Cheating?

What's the First Thing You'd Do If You Found Out Your Partner was Cheating?
  • Confront them immediately
    Vote A
  • Shame them on social media
    Vote B
  • Destroy their belongings
    Vote C
  • Empty joint bank account
    Vote D
  • Confront their lover
    Vote E
  • Catch them in the act
    Vote F
  • Break up and walk away
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Update: After lots of votes and really interesting comments, GaGers have had their say on cheating! A great majority, a whopping 74% would either confront their partner immediately or break up and walk away. A notable 10% would try to catch them in the act. The stats reveal that not many want to waste their time and energy on an unfaithful partner, and have the ability to deal with the situation straight on, or have the courage to walk away. Thanks for all your votes!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • considering I've been cheated on twice I do have solid experience.

    both times once I found out I immediately confronted the person.

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    • ooh sorry for that , it must has really affected your self-steam , did you break up both times? could you move on easily?

    • sorry for the late response I've been dealing with a bunch of stuff recently.

      did I break up both times? Yes. Although both times briefly I wondered if we cold stay together but I could never see the person again. I couldn't trust them

      Could you move on easily? The first time yes. I was in college and my gf or ex was in school about 100miles away so it was already long distance. I was able to just keep myself very busy. The second time not easy. I was deeply in love and had even bought an engagement ring. It took me maybe 2 months to be able to get on with my life and about a year to fully get over the girl.

Most Helpful Girl

  • One time, I dated a guy (who I didn't live with) and when he informed me that he was with someone else, I had all his stuff sitting in my apartment. I'm talking super nice quality clothes. I put them all in a box and donated them to a men's shelter. I still smile thinking of all those homeless men who went from rags to wearing designer sweaters thanks to one stupid guy. When he asked me where his stuff went, I cheerfully told him he was good enough to donate it all.

    Another time, a guy had been fishing all over the internet on dating and sex sites behind my back. It wasn't hard to get in to his email, so I went on to all of the sites, changed his preference to "looking for men" changed his name to something hilariously disgusting like: IHaveHerpes, and added a title like, "I have a girlfriend and this is what happens when you get caught on sites like this." Or if no title was to be had, just leave it, and allow gay men find him in their searches (sorry, gay men). I also changed the photo to something absolutely terrible from my photos such as one of him popping a zit.

    I have so many other examples of getting guys back for stuff, not just for cheating, but honestly - I let them know if they screw me over some how, I will find a way to get my money's worth of a bit of payback. I can't say they weren't forewarned, but damn, like it's so hard to just say 'hey it's not working out' and end it. No, instead if they cheated, ripped me off, or did something destructive, hell yes they were going to pay for it somehow.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 141

  • What you can do? Take the responsibility, wish her good and say good bye. Take the positive memories with you and leave the bad one behind. Never ever carry a hatred. Its like a poison you would drink and expect other person dies from it lol.

    Man, just say fuck it, all is well lol

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  • Vote 'F' - do nothing unless it's relevant. I don't believe in breaking up or destroying anything or anyone just because they indulged in having sex with someone other than me. That is a basic & natural thing to happen.

    I'd however, leave & keep a watch if her intentions were malicious

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    • Thats so beta, how could you be ok with that

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    • Your so cool!

  • **************

    If a girl ever cheats on me I'm going to invite her to a romantic candle lit dinner in a secluded area. Then I'm going to tell her stories about how i killed my ex girlfriend in the woods because she cheated on me. Then I'm going to point to some trees off in the distance and say "Actually those woods right over there". Finally I will blow out the candles and laugh.

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  • WHEN I WAS YOUNG - I would then walk away from her (I have done so). If she is cheating, I would then believe that she does not think I am enough. Since I have always been one to give woman 100% of my time and affection, if she went elsewhere, I would say she was not worthy of someone like me. Now, if I was married, I would try to find out why before walking away because there would be a lot more at stake (I do not mean money). But if she was just "bored" then, I walk.

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  • I'd pretend I didn't know, and slowly start packing my things and ensuring that my escape is efficient and orderly (while claiming the most valuable split assets among us)

    Then I'd find another girl, and let's just say I wouldn't try very hard to NOT get caught. The climax is when she sees us, I dont give a fuck, and I disappear into the night.

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  • lol nothing, no explanation, she will just never fucking see me again. boom, im audi 500.

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    • yep right on no need to waste a breath or a moment when its not even worth it.

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    • Are you afraid?

  • I always figured I would just disappear. I would wait until she is at work or something, pick up all my stuff and leave. No facebook, no texting, no calling. She knows what she did wrong, she does not deserve closure.

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  • Take it on the chin. Don't even bother to confront them. You will only end up adding to your own pain. Just walk away and hold your head up high. When you are alone, or better still, with someone you trust 100%, let the tears come. That's the first part of the healing process.

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  • If she was living in my house I would probably come home early that day. Get her bags pack everything up for her, put her bags out on the driveway and then wait for her to come home. After she came home I would grab her car keys take my house key off her key ring and go back inside while I was telling her there's all your stuff and to leave and never come back. That is what I would feel like doing.

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  • when my ex was cheating on me i saw the guy she was sleeping with on a night out and beat the living sh*t out of him.

    Should I have done it? probably not, violence usually doesn't solve anything, but they stopped seeing each other after that.

    Was the night in a cell worth it? yes.

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  • I'd ask why I wasn't trusted enough to be consulted, the realize that trust is key, n probably leave.
    If I found out while hammered, I'd just wonder why I wasn't involved, then we'd work out a re-negotiation...

    :))

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  • Joint bank account? If I had a joint bank account with her, rest assured, I would be 99% positive that I won't have problems with that person.

    If she did cheat on me, I would just stop and think for a brief moment " what the hell has she been wasting my time for just to fuck it all up now". It makes no difference, the deed would have been done so it's curtains for her.

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  • Dump them. Then go through the process of grief ! Depression heart break etc and try to hold it together. That's if I thought I loved the cheating piece if shit to begin with. Likely did.
    I've been there. Cheating bitch of a2 year relationship I found out was cheating all that time.
    Know how bad that feels? Really tears a guy up.

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  • If I lived with her... have her bags at the door and ready for when she came in. I would then find the hottest girl that I could and ask her to do me a favour and teach my ex a lesson and just sit on the couch when she got home so she can see "who I am with" hahaha. Then say adios babe don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!

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  • It is pathetic that people would do any of the things you post other then just leave. It is a weak and really uneducated person that would do anything like damage their things or steal money. Why lower yourself to their level. Those things are usually done by people who are young and not mature enough to handle a real relationship and the consequences.

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    • Well said, mon ami!! Just walk away and never look back over your shoulder!!

  • When my ex told me she had been cheating on me for months I honestly did not believe it at all. But the first thing I wanted to do was ask questions. I had to know who what why... And mostly what she felt was wrong with me and why she did not just break up with me before going after some one else

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  • Wow! Do you see the poll results?

    I don't like being cheated on. I hate it with a passion. With that said i still voted G. I always give my best in a relationship. If that's not enough then i guess nothing is.

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  • I deserve an explanation. She deserves to know that she's busted. I need to know his end game. I need to warn her -and him- how that end game could be their undoing. Beg them to heed the warning. Then make myself scarce. At that point, it needs to be about principles, not about how I feel.

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  • Id sleep with that person one last time and then break up with them like a boss.
    " I really do enjoy are time together but I'm looking for someone with experience so I'm sorry for doing this but we're gonna have to let you go." "Thank you for your services have a great day!"

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    • This. When I found out she was cheating I had the most brutal sex with her ever. Deepthroating, slapping and cumming on her face and hair. When I was done I told her I knew everything and threw her ass on the street with my sperm all over her. It felt right. It must have been great to ride a bus with a load on her head.

    • Wow that's brutal, keep up good work haha

  • I voted "A".

    More specifically, I would punch her right in the face. I won't put up with a cheater for too long!

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What Girls Said 133

  • Honestly id probably doubt them so much after id break up with them, i've gone through a lot of crap in my life, mosty because of my family but i've never had any real friends, all of them stabbed me in the back and i get picked on a lot by people even at age 24, to have someone betray me when i spewed my soul out to them and then for them to cheat on me... it would mean that he took non of it into consideration and didn't care how much he hurt me despite the things that have happened to me.

    He didn't care he just added another bad thing onto the list and made me feel more cursed than i already do... i got too tired a long time ago of explaining myself... i'm not going to explain myself again to him when i can see the first time he brushed it off like the things in my life never caused me any pain or distrust in people already... id be out there door... if he cheats on me once he will do it again because staying and forgiving him will make him think he can get away with it... noop... i'm not wasting my breath... he knew how id react to being cheated on.

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  • I would feel very, very hurt and probably go to pieces a bit. If I loved her and cared for her very deeply then I would not be hasty to break it off immediately though. I would be inclined to give her a second chance as long as it was a one off and a mistake. Had she been playing me for months on end, then I think the trust would be very difficult to rebuild.

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  • @BertMacklinFBI's idea sounds pretty intriguing to me. I'm not sure if I could pull it off, but vanishing into thin air would be a nice/slightly creepy way to break up with a cheater. It would send a pretty clear message, I think. Something along the lines of "you don't deserve to even see me again" or "you don't exist to me anymore, so neither will I exist to you" :p

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    • i honestly feel it would give me more than all the satisfaction over closure i need. i like your insight on it. +2

    • @BertMacklinFBI exactly. If I have all the evidence that my partner cheated, what's the point in confronting him, breaking his stuff or ridiculing him online? He is obviously not worth my time or effort, so might as well disappear and never talk to him again. If I ever get cheated on, I hope I'll have the strength to silently do just that... and not lash out lol.

  • i always thought i would just walk away if anyone ever cheated on me, but when it happened i took him back. then he cheated on me again three months later. cheaters just don't care and if they say they're sorry they're lying. not worth the time or tears.

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  • As I could not choose more than one thing. I would: Catch them in the act, confront them, not say anything whilst I take what's mine in the joint bank account, close the joint bank account and then walk away. Never leave loose threads or they may tangle you up in the future. I. e. He/she might get a massive loan in your name.

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  • lol nothing. if they cheated the damage's done.

    then again, i'm pretty passive i can let anything go. bad as it sounds, i'd probably be like "oh, okay" and then go out with my girls and find someone to hook up with. it's vindictive and bad, i know but in my opinion it's better than crying and getting angry and asking "why" because i feel like that will just make me feel worse and seem crazy.

    i'd break up, then hook up with someone else, call it a day and move on.

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  • I'd go all Carrie Underwood on his ass and "dig my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive. Crave my name into his leather seats. Take a Louisville slugger to both headlights and slash a hole in all four tires. Then maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats"

    Realistically though, I'd probably just cry and ask him why he'd do something like that. And then, figure out where to go from there.

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  • I have a pretty awful temper. I would confront the lover first, and if she didn't know he was in a relationship, we could bond and wreck his ass together. If she did know, well. Even though I'm not crazy enough to destroy property or murder, I could still very well make it public and ruin their reptutation; also warn all his future partners (not that they's listen, but...) so hopefully no one else gets played.

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  • I would make him kill himself.
    Of course I'd out him on social media, as well and the skank he was with, making it as dramatic as possible and to make him seem as scummy as possible.
    I'd probably trash his stuff, mess it up, but not destroy it. Maybe I'd pee on his bed and clothes or something I don't know lmao
    I'd probably tell his next gf what he did. And every gf after that, just so they know.

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  • My ex, he cheated on me with 3 other girls. and all he wanted was sex, i didn't want that... nd when i broke up with him. he was like " ill be here when you come back for me" then he just started laughing at me and spread rumors around at school telling evryonei was pregnet with his baby, I've never done it before so thats a big nono.

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  • confront the lover, then empty joint bank account, catch them in the "act" (make an evil plan with the lover) lastly slap him/her (and yes even if its a her) and BREAK UP and walk away with your head held high!! <3
    and if that really happened to someone hope you feel better!! 'kiss, kiss'

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  • It depends.
    I believe in staying loyal to a partner, but if I wasn't giving my partner everything she wanted and/or needed, then she should be allowed to find what I don't have somewhere else. If it's not behind my back, if it's not meant to hurt me or embarrass me then sure. I'm okay with my partner spending the night with somebody else. Just so long as I'm the one she comes home to, to cuddle. I am the snuggle bunny, not that other person who has what I don't.

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  • If we have no mutually-shared property/pets/kids/etc, and I found out, I'd just leave. Actions such as that require no explanation (the cheater deserves no closure or peace of mind) as far as I'm concerned.

    If we do have anything that we mutually share I'd confront them first, then leave. Splitting up the responsibilities is necessary & is something that should not be left unhandled due to an emotional outburst.

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  • I'm a very direct person so I'm going to confront them about it and see if they're honest or if they lie. If they lie they're not trustworthy and therefore the relationship is over.

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  • I voted 'F' but it would actually be a mix between A, F, and G. I would like to catch him in the act, but I'm not going to wait around until I do catch him in the act. I'd definitely confront before breaking up and walking away. I have zero tolerance for cheaters.

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  • Just not worth my time, if he treat me like that. Won't even bother to confront him , just walk away. I'm not gonna waste my time with trash. If I'm dating you, it means I see potential for future and if that's how I'm gonna be treated. I guess I was wrong. Leave and hope that someone sees what I'm worth.

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  • Well he spent his breath banging someone else, why argue? I sincerely doubt i can forgive a cheater. So im done With him. My rule is I must be told in PLAIN language that he wants to break up. After I have been told I really can't be all that mad. Just get me my divorce papers and he is free to go. Stepping out on a commitment before I'm told he wants out? Yea no fuck him.

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  • Break up and walk away in any situation, whether they confess, someone else told me about it or I catch them in the act. Bye bye, adios, aurevoir.

    The only type of confrontation there will be coming from me would be an ''I'm breaking up with you because you're a worthless cheater, bye''.

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  • My fiancĂ© broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and had a history of lying. Then I heard somethings so I confronted him but instead of saying no he deflected so I went and got tested yesterday. We'll see how that goes.

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  • I would confront him about it and then probably break up. I don't tolerate cheating because that means the person doesn't respect me and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't respect me.

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