Can someone help me with my mentality pertaining to my breakup? I really need a woman's opinion and some advice?

We were together, off and on for six years. The reason why it was off and on was because she kept in breaking up with me because she doesn't know what she wants, and when she would break it off, shed shift the blame on me so she could do it. Every time she came back, she'd tell me that wasn't true and she'd apologize. Up until the end, I shot straight from the hip in this relationship. I was honest, faithful, loyal, and sadly I waited for her to come back, sometimes for almost a year. I loved her with everything that I had and it never seemed good enough. The second to last time she broke up with me she said it was because I wasn't smart enough. She was pretty cold about it. She bagged out in her lease, quit her job and left the state to move home. I was left with nothing. A few months later, she contacted me again to try to work it out and apologized again for what she told me. We were long distance, but considering that I felt I couldn't depend on her, I decided to see other people until for sure she was going to commit. I did feel very guilty about that, but all my friends and family knew what I was doing and they didn't blame me for not putting my life on hold until she earned my trust back. She broke up with me four times total afterall, but I did love her. I'm not making excuses, but that's what I did. Well, she found out what I was doing and at first she was upset. But then she tells me that she had a drunken one night stand 7 months prior, and never told me. I visited her three times after that happened and she never told me. At that point,, we voted to call it even, and mend our relationship. She asked me to stop seeing the other person and I agreed. I told her that I did care about the other person and the break up should be humane as possible. I did it, and that was that. She broke up with me anyway, twisted the whole story around and convinced herself of what it was. It's been almost a year, and she's contacted me every couple of months for whateve
Whatever reason. But she keeps contacting me every few months and then pulls away. She said she is seeing someone now and we shouldn't talk, and that was after she started a conversation with me.
How can this be so easy for her. I did so much!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Going by what you said here it seems messed up that someone will treat another person this way, playing games with another person heart like this. If what you say are true, I'm sorry to hear you went through such an ordeal. However I do know that there's two sides to a story... I hate to sound cold but, I'm trying not to be so nieve.. I've been through my fair share of heartache as well. And how one might view things the other might view it differently. However heartbreaks are never fun :( no matter how it comes. So sorry to hear this again. My advice is give yourself some time. For give her, cause that's the only way you truly will get over this. And move on.

    • I'm trying the best I can. I just wish she wasn't so discarding after everything I did for her. This sounds messed up, but I feel like she just stayed with me because she thought she owes me something.

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    • She told me she was seeing someone.

    • I guess that would be more than enough reason to walk away then.
      She sounds narcissistic... maybe, I don't know.. it's hard for women once we fall in love, her mind is all over the place. :( im sorry your going through this, but I do firmly believe in two sides to a story again. So, if what your saying is true. I think it's time to let her go

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What Girls Said 4

  • I am currently in a relationship that I know is going nowhere. You try your best to make it work, but sometimes, you just need to take a step back and try to look at the bigger picture, and say to yourself ' is it really worth it?'. Some relationships can leave you feeling like you are the only one putting in the hard yards. These are the types of relationships that leave you feeling drained of energy. You shouldn't be feeling like that, and relationships should feel like a constant battle.

    • No they shouldn't. I'm just baffled how someone can throw you to the wind after all they've done. She fucked up a lot, and I always forgave her. I fucked up one time, and I'm nothing. What is that?

  • Its an ego boost to her and she knows she has you under her thumb. She obviously does not care for you or treats you the way you do her or the way you the question you should be asking yourself is, "Why do you want someone who will never give you what you want or make you a priority." Why would you allow someone to play with you and crush you and you keep taking them back? You are teaching her that it is okay and this is how she can treat you. When you said you were seeing someone else until she was ready to commit she took that as a challenge and came back. If you really want her you need to challenge her and take control. say what you mean, mean what you say and make her work for you. I would personally just leave her to her own karma and live a happy life with someone who appreciates and respects me and my love. she does not sound worth any effort and once you walk away completely she will see the error of her ways and you will be so much happier with your life. She is sucking life and happiness out of you and your not even together. No one should have that kind of power over you. Ignore her calls and text, if you reply don't answer any of her questions be polite and vague and keep it moving. She doesn't deserve any energy or thoughts from you.

    • How can someone be that way? I gave her the world and she shit on me. She definitely doesn't speak for all of you

    • Do you think by any crazy chance, she'll realize she's weong and at least apologize at some point. I can't sit here and fathom that everything that I did was for nothing

    • You can never assume she will do anything. She will likely think back one day when karma has bit her in the ass about all the people she treated like crap but its likely that there are so many. You can't sit around and give her anymore energy, she is draining you and controlling your life. You should be the only person in control of your life. THe best revenge you can serve is to enjoy your life move on and forget she even mattered (easier said than done) but once she sees she can't affect you the same you will notice either she will try harder or disappear and FYI its best to let her go.

  • She's playing with your head and your heart. Let her go, for good. It's not going to change. Sounds like she's got issues. Be the bigger, stronger person and move forward. This relationship is just one big puddle of quick sand. Get out while you still have your dignity and your sanity. (I've been you.)

  • Seems like a very unhealthy relationship. Nothings worse than being strung along. If she won't commit then move on, just my thoughts but do what is best for your future happiness. Maybe hard now but time heals all.

    • It's been about 8 months and it's still hard. I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that everything good I did seemed as if it counted for nothing. All that work I put in and I didn't get a fair shot. Not once.

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