We are talking about adopting out our daughter because the fighting that has happened in the past. He was very adamant that he was going to raise her with his girlfriend and yesterday he said adoption, after he said that stuff above. I don't need him, I want him, for myself and my daughter.
What's actually going on? His girlfriend will also search me on social media or have her friends try to add me.. Why?
Most Helpful Guy
No, he doesn't want you back. He just want you to be available for him for sexual needs, should he feel so inclined.
If he wanted you back, he could have you back, easily. He could dump his girlfriend and get back with you. And it sounds like you would take him back, even though it is clear he doesn't actually love you. He knows that. So the fact that he is NOT doing that makes it 100% clear that he does not want that. He may TELL you he does, but there is nothing stopping him from doing it but him. So it is not what he actually wants.
So you need to ask yourself, why does he tell you that, when it's clear he doesn't want it. The answer to that is manipulation. He wants to string you along. He wants to keep you hooked on him. He wants to keep himself on your mind, keep you hoping that one day he will come back. He wants to keep that door open so that he can use it if the mood strikes him.
This is Manipulation 101. You are being played. Very well. You will never be able to get on with your life while you let him do this, because you will never be emotionally available for another guy while you are hung up on him. Which is exactly what he wants. He can have you back in a heartbeat. He hasn't done it.
Words mean nothing. Actions mean everything.
Most Helpful Girl
If he is choosing to stay with his gf then he is full of crap. There is no depth to his words and you should tell him that he is manipulating you if he is going to tell you those things without acting in accordance with what he says.