Have I ruined my chances of getting him back?

Until recently, conversations with my ex were either bluntly friendly or arguing (mainly because of me feeling hurt and kicking off). I basically went psycho bitch and he understandably would get angry about it but he would still try to be decent towards me and always said he wanted friendship. He wasn't nice after the break up either though, he would brag, rub things in my face, tell me about sleeping with girls etc but he apologised and stopped. He planned to meet about a month down the line.
We met up the other day and all was fine, he hugged me for ages and we seemed to be getting on good terms. I know he still cares and loves me and it showed. He seemed to be smitten with me again after that meet up.

Recently, we were speaking and I guess I said something that was related to the relationship (I can't remember what) and he said he couldn't be friends with me because I keep bringing things up about the relationship. I sent him a long closure text message but then said I wouldn't bring up the relationship, that I want friendship etc but he ignored it. I text him on April fools day saying I was going to prank him but I couldn't now, in a friendly way but he ignored it. I sent him a link to a car that was for sale that he'd like and he saw it the next day but ignored it. I hoped I could show him that I could be a friend to him and hoped we could get on good terms again but he's ignored me since Monday. On Thursday, I said "I'm sorry. I won't talk to you again".

Since that day, he's barely posted things online and he's stopped friending random girls. I'm planning on not contacting him now for at least a month, hoping he'll get in contact. What do you think the likelihood is that he would get in contact again? Have I ruined my chances with him? Do you think no contact will work in making him get in contact?

Before all this, he would tell me he missed and loved me, that we might be able to try again in the future but he said "we'll see if fate brings us together or not". Right now he wants to be single and I respect that but I want to be on good terms so eventually, we could relight our spark further down the line.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd at least give it time... and make sure you hit the brake before you send emotional messages again... in the end you've loved each other for 2 years so that could be what brings you back together.
    I mean: both feeling you've done the efforts you had to do to repair the situation.
    Don't dare to speculate on how large the chance is though.
    But I really really hope it for you. You deserve this since you see your mistake and do your best :-)

    • Thank-you. :)

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    • It's okay and I am dealing with it better now, thank-you. I'm better off without him.

    • Nice to hear that you manage to cope Hannah... we'll speak soon :-)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well... being 'friends' with an ex is never a good idea. The past will keep haunting you. If possible, try to get int a relationship again and make it work. If this can't be done, better move on.

    • It's more about being on good terms because there is a small chance of trying again in the future.

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    • He left because he wasn't ready for commitment and some issues. Most of it is resolvable.

    • Even if it is resolvable, it needs the cooperation of both people involved. You can't be putting in all efforts from your end, while he simply ignores you. It just doesn't work that way.

      Maybe you *could* try seeking the help of a mutual friends to act as a mediator.

  • Hmm, perhaps he's wanting a break from love and relationships for a while, hence why he also stopped adding random girls. Maybe he's a little depressed about the break up or probably slightly intimidated from the arguments. Sometimes being friends with an ex can be awkward or not feel the same as you were before going out with them, but chances are he will contact you again soon, best to just wait he does, I doubt he'll ignore you forever. I think the next time yous contact is to just converse as a friend way. Until then, try again with the relationship once you both get on very good terms again.

    • I think he was adding girls to just get at me for some reason, though he broke up with me due to not being ready for commitment, he made the break up really hard for me. I don't have any concerns about him dating someone else. If he does get in contact again, I'll be a lot calmer and more in control. I just hope he does contact me again. :|

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    • What should I text him after a month?

    • Just a simple "Hey, how are you doing? Have things been okay for you?" should be good enough.

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