How can I fix my ex's fear of commitment?

So for the last four and a half years my ex-girlfriend and I have been in an on and off relationship. My ex grew up in an abusive home where her father abused both her and her mother, so her few on commitment and love is very skeptical. We’ve broken up twice and both times have played out like this. First she breaks up with me and starts talking to another guy but still fools around with me. Next I try desperately to win her back but she doesn’t budge in any way. Eventually I give up and start talking to other girls as which makes her jealous. Then after about a month or so she stops talking to the other guy and tries to rekindle our relationship, which is where we are at right now.
Last time I took her back without hesitation. This time however I’m not sure if I want to be with her anymore, or if I am even in love with her. I find that interesting because when she broke up with me she told me that “She loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore”, and now I feel the exact same way about her. This doesn’t make any sense to me because until a few weeks ago my love her always stood strong. Yea I talked to a few girls when we were separated but I never had any feelings for them just my ex. My ex is my first love, and honestly she is one of my best friends. She was has changed my life for the better in many ways. And I gave her my all in the relationship. However after everything that has happened I don’t trust her anymore and I have begun to resent her a little bit.
Here’s where things get tricky. Last night she told me she may be pregnant with my baby. Regardless on if she is pregnant or not I still want to be in love with her and I want to be with her but at the same time I don’t want to get hurt again. However if she is pregnant I feel like it is also important to help her get over her fear of commitment. My question is how can I look past everything that she has done so I can repair our relationship? Also how can I stop with her fear of commitment?


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What Girls Said 2

  • As a woman who fears commitment you can't really help someone get over it. They really just have to get over it themselves. No matter what you show her she may have that fear still. Just talk to her. Find out what is causing her fear

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  • I'm going to give you the harsh reality. The reason sHe Lost interest before it's because she thought she could do better and wanted to see what else is out there. It isn't fair that she wanted to move on, but would get jealous of you talking to other girls. That is very immature You are not the one who needs to worry about her commitment issues. That is on her. She may not be self aware enough, or mature enough tO Confront it. As far as the baby goes, wait to see how it plays out. Either way, i would think twice before getting back with her.

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