Why does it seem that my ex-boyfriend doesn't get that I don't want to talk to him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lena19, let me assure you that it sadly is possible that a man who becomes an "ex" can sometimes chase and not wake up and see that it really is over. An ex is generally labelled an ex for a reason. I speak from personal experience, as I had an awful encounter 2 years ago. It's definitely 2 years ago because that was the length of time I was granted by a court to place a restraining order on him for being verbally and mentally abusive towards me, my family, my friends, some who he never had met or known at all.

    I'm okay to reveal this story:

    I refused sex from this same asshole and was further raped as a result of saying no to him. My pleas with him to end the nightmare relationship then had him texting me, calling me, threatening me - all day, and all night which he got new numbers after I repeatedly blocked each one of his mobile numbers and anything else you can imagine that occurred for at least a solid 2 months with more trails of abuse later found in my Facebook "others" folder, and all while my mum was dying of cancer. So, yes... I can make it very very clear that men often can be cold, callous bastards and not want to let things be.

    Control freaks like my ex boyfriend, (who incidentally racked up a very large number of restraining orders from various other girls after me) is quite the psychotic sort that likely would be threatening something along the lines of: "No way can my girlfriend leave me...", "I can't accept her walking out and leaving...", "I must not let her go at all costs...". "She is not allowed to break up with me" etc etc.

    I mean, maybe your ex isn't psychotic like the nutcase I dealt with, but if he doesn't get it loud and clear you want him gone and out of your life, say to him exactly what it is you don't want, say you don't want to talk, you want to move on, and moving on doesn't involve him. If he becomes a real prick and things get out of hand, block his number and ask him not to contact you in any other way after you block him.

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    • I'm so sorry that happened to you.
      He wasn't like that, but he made me feel like he only dated me just to have sex with him and be a girlfriend whenever he felt like it. He would always tell me so many upsetting things, like he met a girl who has the same interests as he does and they would mix very well, he said to his one friend that he lost his virginity to a fat chick (me) whenever in reality I'm not even fat, he never talked to me, and he said that he did not love me at all. I just felt used.

    • Thank you. Yes, it's an awful feeling I know too well, I've been used for sex before and never again will I allow myself to be in that position again. Can you be sure that the "fat chick" he refers to is about you, if he's used you for sex, in your heart, do you feel that perhaps he has a string of women all used for the same purposes? If it is so, that you are the girl he is 110% referring to, is there a reason why his friend would want to share that hurtful information with you? I'm glad you are not going to fall for that horrid slander, his friend should have stayed out of it, unless you wanted to know what was going down. I think cut ties with him completely after you let him know you will not be made to feel like a sex toy for him to use at his beck and call. No way do you need that shit in your life! You don't need to be a puppet on strings, cut the strings off, find freedom, then find new love. Don't sexually commit to a man who has no intention of loving you. Make him chase!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Probably because there was no closure, or at least he feels there wasn't.

    How did you break up with him?

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    • I love your picture of Luffy :).
      Well, it was basically me getting tired of him not talking to me for a whole week, we had sex the day before he just stopped talking to him, he does not work at all since he works in a Union and generally he is home all day playing video games. Whenever I would try to talk to him though, he would just cut me short and say he's sleeping. Never heard from him for a whole week and I got concerned.
      Finally, I was able to talk to him and I asked him if he did love me, he told me that he likes me a lot; however, saying love is not really what it is. Along with saying he wished he could love me as much as he wants to. It just really crushed my feelings that he told me this after we were active with one another, I want to be active with someone whom I love and loves me back. He then said he didn't want to date anymore, but just remain bowling buddies (so that he could get out of going to church on Sundays with his parents).
      I just felt used.

What Girls Said 2

  • He probably doesn't get it because he thinks you'll change your mind or some other nonsense. Just ignore him.

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    • Probably. Though the break up was mutual in a way.
      Though it was the rubber band and I was the dumb one to still hold it whenever he released it.

  • Why don't you want to talk to him xx

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    • I'm just really heartbroken and feel like he used me the whole relationship and just want some time away from him.

    • Aw ok just say to him look I need a week or two space get ur head together xxx

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