Falling in and out of love?

I recently broke up with my first love, first bf, and all. We we're together since my freshman yr which was 5 years n 1 month . he and I we're best friends and became extremely close. Then out of nowhere everything went from building a future & in love to this abusive guy n it still hurts, I can hardly belive it. But after the break up due to his abusive habits my other best friend witch is a guy , was the only person there for me . to help me through the break up , after him telling me that he's falling for me thats when every thing became different. In a good way. He is the type of guy that is very loving , family type of guy, cute and all, respectful, gentleman like & is always they're to give me advice, etc . But then again I'm still hurt and am going through a lot. I gave him a chance to show me . and he is everyday he copes w me. And trys to help me.. But now we r in a 2 month relationship n its very difficult to trust him . I feel as if I gave my first my all , everything, all my trust, and now I want to give the next guy a chance to trust him , but I don't. And its hard.. I need some advice to move on and take things slowly and be with him and be happy again. Although i m hoping soo. I don't want to hurt him n anyway . I also feel like I'm starting to fall for him too.. So its a mixture of weird signs and feelings .. But the trust is what holds me back from everything ..


Most Helpful Guy

  • That's not too uncommon. It's a reason why a lot of people don't like being a 'rebound'. A lot of times a person coming out of a long relationship ends up in another relationship relatively soon, while there are still a lot of unresolved emotions and she is still not over the original partner. The rebound can help her move on with her life, but it is a little rare that the rebound ends up becoming a new, stable long-term relationship.

    And it is generally because of reasons like 'broken trust', or unresolved feelings of abandonment, or anger issues, or a desire to go back to the original partner. And everything will be compared. Sex with a new partner is going to be exciting and new, obviously, but a long term partner will have learned all the 'tricks' to really make a partner tingle, and once the newness wears off the rebound relationship, they are being compared to someone who had years of experience with the plumbing to get it just right.

    So, my advice to you, would be to not rush anything. Don't force this relationship. Don't move faster than you want to, don't expect it to solve all your problems. But don't hold this guy guilty for the sins of the other. The important thing for you is to try and heal yourself emotionally and get comfortable with the idea of leaving those 5 years behind as memories and lessons and move forward to new adventures.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You need to ask yourself, "Is falling in love and being with a great guy worth the misery that I've gone through with one guy already?" If you actually want to be in a real relationship you have to be willing to put your trust and faith in the guy at some point. And yes if he turns out to be like that other guy you'll feel awful. That's the price you have to pay to really find the guy who is just perfect for you.

  • So what's the question?


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