Needs as many opinions as possible! What to do?

Just like everyone else on here I am having my fair share of boy problems... I guess my issue is what this guy really wants from me. We've dated before for 4 years and now we're basically bf/gf without a title. My best bet would be to give you some conversation between us and I want to see what you guys think. Am I getting used? Could he be serious about wanting to focus on school? WHAT DOES HE WANT. (That being said he never seems to give me the full truth "because he doesn't want to hurt me")

Me: "I just wish you would be more of a friend to me like I need you to be"
Him: "I can easily be your friend but I just think you're asking more of me then what a friend should be giving"

Me: "... Once we move past all the issues between us and we're we want to be financially and academically, would you be willing to work on us again?"
Him: "yeah absoultely. I think it would be stupid of me to just walk away considering we've already been through so much that has really shaped us into who we are"

Him: " The other day we didn't kiss at all i could tell that was bothering you and its not like im saying i feel bad but i do it b/c I know its what you want and its hard for me not to given everything we've been through"

Another thing that really stuck on me was he's telling me that he doesn't want me to get the wrong idea about us and how we're just friends and how he "doesnt want to push me away but tries not to pull me too close" I start to really think because if he doesn't want to "pull me close" or "give me the wrong idea" then why is he telling me he'd be willing to work on us again?

  • Go with the flow!
    Vote A
  • Cut your losses!
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would guess he is afraid of commitment and also has no idea what he wants. I was no different at 19 myself.
    If you continue to put yourself out there, I respect your bravery but be prepared that it could go either way eventually

    • I really liked the fact that you could admit that you were not different at this age, it really made me have better of an understanding. I am preparing myself for both outcomes and hopefully, he just stops being so complicated. I appreciate the time taken out to read and give your opinion. Thank you for that !

    • Your more than welcome, any more questions feel free to on me

    • Pm me I meant if you have any questions lol.. damn pre-emptive text

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What Guys Said 2

  • I entered cut your losses. You ask him to be more of a friend and he says you ask too much instead of saying I'll try be that for you. You ask him to focus on the relationship and he says sure later instead of now. Seems like he's putting you on the shelf.

    • That's what I was thinking... hmmm. He said he wanted to focus on school since he's trying to study for the MCAT. He recently lost his job and he trying to focus on security with that then he'd be willing to work on a relationship. I can understand what he is saying because I want to make sure all my loans are paid and everything is in order but at the same you can work on a relationship and still be able to focus on school. Im happy you're seeing the side that I'm seeing. I appreciate it more than you can imagine! Thank you!

  • Sounds like he's afraid of commitment, at least for the time being. Sometimes people that age just need to figure things out first.

    • I could understand that completely. He does hold a lot of things I've done against me which I know plays a huge role is not being with me. I just don't want to wait around when there's so many other great guys out there! Thanks for the advice!! (:

What Girls Said 1

  • It's a tricky situation, but if it is that he just wants to be friends I suppose you should respect that decision because he did say that he's willing to work on your relationship in the future. The best advice I can give if to not think about it too much and don't build your hopes up too high because that will just cause hurt your more in the end. All the best!

    • Everything seems to be getting better and better because there was a point in time (3 months ago) where we would tell me that he didn't want to even be in a relationship and wanted me to see someone else. I've stop with the unnecessary drama, begging, nagging and now he seems to be changing his mind on things. I guess bettering myself really paid off for not only me, but for him wanting to work on things. I guess only time will tell and I'll make sure I don't get my hopes up. Thank you for the advice!

    • You are most welcome and as I said before, all the best :) i really do hope that things work out for you both.

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