Why did he contact me? What should I do about this?

I dated this guy for about 4 1/2 months last year. I really liked him and he said he really liked me. I wanted things to get a bit more serious and he freaked out. There was one night towards the end when he blurted out that he loved me. After that he was really distant and I didn't see him so much. He said we should take a break, which we did. After about 2 weeks of no contact he text me to say that I was amazing but that we both knew that I could do much better than him and so we should just call it quits. I was pretty furious and told him that was a load of BS. I didn't hear from him until he showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night unannounced about a month later. He told me he really cared for me and thought I was amazing and that he really wanted to try to make things work. He kept going on about how he wasn't good enough for me. I stupidly fell for that and he ended up staying the night. After that I didn't hear from him again. I text him a few days afterwards to tell him that he'd really hurt me and that I didn't want to hear from him ever again.

Then he text me last night. He said he was sorry we never got a proper chance to talk about everything that happened. He then offered to give me and my friends tickets to a sports game (he works in sports) as a way of apologising. He also finished the text by saying that he just afraid of real commitment. I text him back telling him that I wouldn't take him up on the offer and that I didn't see why he still couldn't just properly apologise for what he'd done. I also asked him why he decided to say all this 2 months later. What possible reason could he have for this? I really don't know how to process his text. I feel like he's trying to keep me on the hook for a time when he might possibly want a girlfriend or whatever. I just really feel like he owes me some closure and that it would be really helpful to sit down and chat. I dont' know how to get him to do that though, nor what I'm supp


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He could just be having confidence issues in him self. I went through a big phase of that last year and had an off off thing pretty close to this. I actually really did love the girl I was just really broken inside and had no confidence in my own choices. Was she right for me? Was I happy with her? so on and so forth those where the things in my head. Eventually I hurt her to the point where she stopped trusting my sincerity so when i was finally ready she just found me annoying and scary. You really have to talk to him and ask him whats going on and try to figure it out.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I agree with sillytoad. If it was confidence issues, he still wouldn't take so long in between rendevous's. He chasing something else. Something just seems off, Even if i had confidence issues, i wouldn't leave you hanging. Id break it off or try and communicate.

    when he stays over, is he getting some intimacy? if he is, you're a backup/FWB/fuck buddy to him and he doesn't respect you.

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  • He might be keeping you as a backup. If he really wanted to be with you, then he'd let you know and not jerk you around.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Hun don't do it. I have been in this kind of situation, he will say all this to try win you back because he "cares" for you and "loves" you and all that. My ex did this to me and I was stupid enough to fall for it and we dated for 6 months before I ended it with him because of the way he was treating me like I was nothing to him. Yeah things were great for the first few months but after that he just stopped putting the effort in and it was starting to hurt me. At the end of the relationship he said some really nasty and hurtful things to me and then about a week later turned up at my place and was saying how much he was sorry was all the things he said and that he wanted to work things out and that he would change but I told him that it was too late and that I didn't want to be with anymore and then a few days later he text me to say he had just had sex with his ex girlfriend before me and again he said some really nasty and hurtful things to me.

    What I'm trying to say here is babe you deserve someone way better than him! If really cared about you he never would've left you to begin with and he would've tried everything to keep you but he didn't so he isn't worth it hun.

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  • well talk to him.

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