I screwed up by lying, is there anything that I can do?

I was going to hangout with some friends (a girl was there as well) but my girlfriend gets extremely upset at even hearing about me hanging out with friends that are female so I made the dumb choice of lying to her. She could read my face and decided she wanted to breakup because of that... something that small, a lie meant to not hurt her feelings or get her upset. I didn't mean for it to go down like that. Now she said that she can't trust me, over something that small. I tried to explain but she wasn't having it. Seriously I love her and don't want it to end because of some lie that was meant to just hangout with some people.
our conversation ended with me saying "I don't know what else to say but im sorry for not telling you about a girl friend that was there" and just says "bye"


Most Helpful Guy

  • A common problem you have.

    The problem lies with her, not you. She has either been cheated on before, or the men in her life (father, male family members, male friends) have abandoned her at some point and she thinks all men are untrustworthy.

    Your best course of action is to get rid of her. Simply put, she will NEVER trust you, nor any other boyfriend in her life. Maintaining a relationship with her essentially means you must cut out every other woman in your life. She will ensure that every current and new friend that is female will be deleted from your phone and facebook.

    There's very little you can do about this behavior from her, because it has probably been ongoing for years and it is a part of her personality now.

    Besides, it's better that you find someone who trusts you. Even if a girl thinks you are untrustworthy - at least she should have a good reason to be. For example, if you're flirting with other girls... etc.

    I am one of those people who get along with girls very well. All of my friends are girls (I had trouble selecting a male for my groomsman, so I picked 2 groomswomen). My wife trusts me because she sees how I interact with my female friends and it's not flirty. Sometimes, she even takes my phone and sets up a "date" with the girl friends I have, just to get me out of the house. Then she tells me that, "You have to meet Carmen tomorrow because you haven't talked to her in awhile."

    That is trust, and that is what you need more of in your relationship.

    • Thank you sir. She has told me that she has been cheated on before and her father was recently caught sleeping with another woman. I just wanted to avoid having an attitude last night and have some fun, which was why I lied in the first place. I'm not the player type and had no intention of cheating.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It doesn't matter how big or small the thing is if you break trust with someone that has trust issues. Give her some time, make sure you are completely honest if she has any questions and don't give up. Trust is very hard to regain but if you think she's worth it then just tell her you will do whatever it takes to make her feel like she can trust you again.

  • Lying to her may be trivial to you, but it's obviously a big deal with her. She seems to have insecurity issues, and all you can do is explain that you felt forced into lying because of the insecurity she has of you being around other girls. Explain that you didn't lie because you were trying to deceive her, you were just trying to protect her from feeling jealous when she has no need to be.

    You need to be open and honest with her and tell her the relationship will only work if she trusts you. It isn't fair for you to have to be forced into lying because she is insecure. She is jealous because she cares so much about you, and is scared of losing you.

    • I know lying is a big deal but she brokeup with me on the spot for a reason as small as that. A lie meant to protect her feelings, not go behind her back and cheat on her or something. It made it seem like she didn't love me at all like she constantly told me. It almost makes me feel like she was looking for out and found someone new

    • Has she found someone new?
      People who are insecure don't think rational thoughts if they feel betrayed by a lie. They can over react at the slightest thing. she will think you lied to her because you had an interest in another girl. I don't know her history, but i imagine she may have been hurt by a guy lying to her or cheating on her in the past.

What Guys Said 3

  • 1. She's immature
    2. She's Insecure
    3. She doesn't trust you around other women/chick friends

    She needs to work on herself before being in a relationship, better to let it go and date someone else for now or work on yourself, be single, and have fun. If you have to lie to protect her feelings, she can't handle the truth, and you're with the wrong person.

  • She has low self esteem and is controlling. You deserve better bro so move on.

    • That's not the case but you have to leave her cheaters are the worst you don't deserve her back

    • Show All
    • Yeah sorry, the idiot bit wasn't aimed at you

    • Yeah I know, no worries.

  • You stupid bastard dumbass!!! Why the fuck do people lie? Haven't people fuckin learned? Anyone 18 years or old should've fuckin learned by now!!!

    • Cool it with the words. I simply was trying to avoid getting her upset. I didn't think she would breakup with me over something like this as I didn't cheat on her.

    • She's just trying to nip it in the bud. She doesn't want to waste her time on a liar and cheater. Even if you didn't cheat, it may only be time before you do.

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