Should I tell her we're done?

Hi, so for a while I had this girl who I would talk to pretty much everyday. Overtime the friendship grew into more and all the signs were there that it could be something more. However after a while she grew cold and distant and she told me she was seeing someone else, even after saying she had feelings for me a few weeks earlier.

So long story short I told her I can't be just friends with her and just told her we need to stop talking. So for 6 months I didn't hear from her, but one day she started talking to me again, just to "check up on me" I was pretty annoyed by this.

Anyway, we spoke for a bit and reluctantly I accepted her request be friends again... so 1 month on I've realised this friendship is causing to much pain and I can't move on with her around.

So after all this, should I tell her we're done? Things aren't the same? Just leave me alone? As this clearly is only working for her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I had to go through a similar thing during this week. I was also confronted with a situation where a friendship with someone I was in love with was too painful so I had to discontinue it. If you cannot enjoy this friendship without wanting more then yes, you should end it and tell her you are done. You don't need someone in your life who causes you pain and misery. You said yourself it's only working for her so why bother? It will be a good decision I think to tell her it's over and that you can't be friends again. Even though you have been through it before , this time make it clear you are not looking for friendship and want to move on with your life.

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    • Thanks, I think I already knew it wasn't going to work out. Just wanted to be sure it was the right thing to do by ending our friendship for a second time. I think I've given it my best both times and that's all I can do. Thanks for your opinion.

    • My pleasure and thank you for MHO ;)) hang in there man... It will get better :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • ... So 1 month on I've realised this friendship is causing to much pain and I can't move on with her around.
    You found out now, with perhaps this being a closure, that you can't even be 'Friends again' on Facebook. It's not working out for you, you are clearly 'Pretty annoyed' at Anything she says and writes, so maybe it is best if you Write her off so you can really move on.
    Delete her, block her if you have to. You don't owe her anything. Think of what she did to you once upon a time in... she grew cold and distant and she told me she was seeing someone else, even after saying she had feelings for me a few weeks earlier.
    The shoe is now on the other foot, boot her out of your life and even out of the friendzone.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I think you just answered your own question. If she left you for someone else and you felt annoyed when she 'checked up on you,' I think this is definitely a sign that you need to move on. If you still feel pain when she talks to you, I think its important that you break off contact with her so that you can gradually begin to forget about her and the pain will ease. If you know something is hurting you its better to get rid of it. If for example you got sick because you found out you were allergic to something you liked, you wouldn't keep eating it would you? It wouldn't be worth the pain, And its the same with this girl. As you know you won't get anything out of this contact except for pain, you will be a lot happier once you let her go.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If it's causing you pain then why do you stay? It's time to go and move on

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