A chance for reconciliation?

My ex and I had the most beautiful relationship. The kind you see in movies. Then we had to establish a LDR and things began to fizzle once he had the time to do his thing and met a new group of friends which includes the girl he started to hang out with while we were on a break. The last couple of weeks of our relationship was hard because of the distance and different schedules. 2 days before our break up I spent an entire week with him and things were great. He even called me before I left his driveway telling me that I forgot something (him). That very same night he fell off the radar for 5 hours. I was upset but whatever. The next morning we spoke and then he disappeared for 17 hours. Because of the past... I told him that he needed to start respecting me more along with his family and that maybe he should think about us more. That I needed to be a priority like I used to be. So the first couple of days we bickered. We both expressed how much we loved each other. He said that he was going to do everything in his power to make this work. He also asked for space. I'm not going to lie I struggled with that. A week went by and I became under the impression that there was someone else so I asked. He said that he was taking someone else on a date who was there for him when I wasn't. I obviously flipped out. We were still together in my eyes. But he kept claiming that I left him. So then he turns on me saying it's over. He's done. Blah blah blah. I had or thought I had a friend where he lives who I contacted asking if she's seen him and this other woman. She says that she saw him and he told them all I broke up with him buy she didn't know there was someone else. Turns out she lied to me. It's her best friend who is with him now. And she told him everything I told her. She told him what was on my Facebook etc etc. He flipped on me for contacting his friends. Like I said I didn't know they were friends. He said he didn't love me anymore and that I need to cheer up and
Move on. I tried but I contacted him without any responses. Yesterday, I accidentally called him and he messaged me saying. "Why are you calling me. We are done. I'm seeing someone else. It's not changing anytime soon. We have not had one argument. She builds me up instead of tears me down and publicly humiliates me. We're not sleeping together but if we were it's not your business. You're your own entity. Now leave me the !#!! Alone. I am going to nap then I have a funeral to go to. "
He is coming tomorrow to get his stuff and his mother is coming too (I still talk to her. She feels horrible and thinks I deserve better). I know that the writing is on the wall. Especially since I did act crazy by blowing him up. I forgot to mention that before he said that he was seeing someone else yesterday. I asked if there was a chance for a future and he said "not if you keep acting like this" then he added that bit about his new gf.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow, that's crazy.

    • Well that doesn't help much lol :(

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    • That I cannot tell you. This is part of growing up so you get to make that choice on your own. Whether for good or ill it's best you are genuine in your actions.

    • Well I know that he won't hug me or talk to me and that's all I want

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm sorry you have to go through this. There are a few things that I find weird. Like why would he even feel the need to mention that he isn't sleeping with this new girl, and why would he say that there's no chance for you ""if you keep acting like this" when he's already with someone else.

    The thing with LDR is that sometimes the other person does drop off the radar and to the other person it may seem like they're not making an effort, or like they aren't important to that person, or they simply feel excluded. I am in a long distance relationship (have been for two years now) so I know what it's like. But in truth, the other person is just trying to live his/her life and sadly, when there is the geographic distance, that does mean that they drop off the radar for a bit since they can't take you with them obviously. Could it be that you complained about this a bit too much and he couldn't handle it anymore?

    I don't know what to tell you, I can't know if there's a chance for you two in the future. How far apart do you live? Would there theoretically be a way for you to move there (assuming that things work out again)?

    I think that when you see him you should just behave naturally. Don't try to plan something because that's never good. Will his mother be around for all of it, so you won't really have a chance to talk to him privately?

    • I said " I'm just devastated that you're with someone else. You're intimate with someone else and you didn't even try. I want you in my life. I love you. Are you saying that there's no chance or a future. EVER?" Then that's when he said not if I keep acting how I am and brought up the new girl. And he was actually applying for jobs down by me and we looked at some places together. He was supposed to move here.

      I don't really see us speaking tomorrow. He's made it clear that it's over right now and to leave him alone. I'll probably just talk to his mother...

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    • He's in the town that he grew up in. His lease ended in October so he moved in with me/his parents until we were going to get a place this spring. He was laid off November to January so he was with me basically the entire time. When he went back to work mid January things went down hill.

    • Ah I see, so it's not been so long since things started going downhill. Possibly the fact he was laid off also contributed to him being a bit weird/distant? Once again, I think you should avoid him for a while and then in a few weeks her perhaps even in a couple of months try to get in touch.

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