Was I Right To Break Up With Him?

I broke up with my ex about a week ago, and he's been harassing me ever since.

I broke up with him because he had a shitty temper and attacked me for everything; I wasn't allowed to voice an opinion, I was expected to give up sex because it was my "duty" as his girlfriend, and he constantly told me how he wished I was x-y-and-z.

To boost my self esteem, I got really fit and took better care of my appearance, got better at my job and improved my relationships with my friends. I realized quickly that I didn't need him, and kicked him out. Oh yeah, did I mention he lived with me and had no job?

Now he won't leave me alone. First, I was never good enough, now I'm suddenly perfect and he needs me. I've been holding firm and sent him the rest of his stuff but he keeps harassing me. He keeps telling me I need to forget the past, give him another chance, and teach him to change. I don't feel I want to, but all of this pressuring is almost confusing me into thinking maybe I should.

So, was I right to break up with him? Or are you supposed to fight tooth and nail for your relationship, no matter what?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He sounds very unstable and dangerous. You were ABSOLUTELY right in breaking up with him, and please, under NO circumstances, do not get back together with this man.

    You've worked hard to build your self esteem, so please try and maintain your self-respect. This guy is emotionally abusive and it could become physical at any time. He's controlling, manipulative and extremely immature. Do you really want this in your life, and do you really see a future with someone like this? I don't.

    Please be careful and cut off all contact with him. If you have to, change your door locks and your phone number. Also, block him from all your social media sites.

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    • Yeah that's what my mom said. As soon as I collect the last month's rent that he owes me I'm blocking his number - I already blocked him from social media though.

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    • Yeah that's true. If he keeps bugging me I'll have a protective order put against him. Thanks.

    • Good for you. More people need to be more aware and diligent about protecting themselves from abusive people, and I'm happy you're taking some very positive steps in permanently getting away from him.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Your life is better with out him obviously :)
    Your answer is right there

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What Girls Said 1

  • You already know that one... he made you feel so low, pushed down your confidence and self-esteem for you to have sex with him... he knows exactly what to say to you to try and get you to feel guilty for breaking up "give him another chance, teach him to change", we both know and he knows he will never change and keep bullying you the way he does... all he wants is just to use and abiuse you and still keeps trying to make you feel so down by harrasing you, men like this are scum and need psychological help... he is a bad and insecure person and you need to stay away from men like this, i've had my fair share of men like this trying to bully me into sleeping with them or dating them... it's not nice i know.

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    • Yeah I think you're right, he knows how to play head games with me. I'm super confident now, but he's trying to make me question myself. I won't get back together with him, this was the affirmation that I needed.

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    • Yeah I know, he wasn't like that in the beginning... but the second I let him move in, he snapped.

    • Yeh sometimes guys like this hide this side of them, my bro has a very bad temper too and is quite controlling, he steals from me, calls me a bitch when he doesn't get what he wants and tries to pin my parents against me and threatens to hit me if i don't... but with girls he hides this side of himself until after a little while... i've seen him with previous girlfriends and he loses his temper with them like with me and my parents, he litterely hits the wall or the table very hard trying to intimidate people... so i know more than anyone how they can be... guys like this are just spoilt brats.

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