Struggling to move on and let him go please help by giving me your opinions?

We met in 2012. I moved out of state for him. He told me he wanted nothing serious. We were together for nearly 2 years, Went on vacations together, i met his family, spent a Christmas at his family shared toothbrush, I lent him money one time. Through out our time together I struggled with my emotions as I fell in love with him and knew he didn't want anything serious. He told me he loved me as well. Why string me along for so long. Since October 2014 I have tried to let him go. Had good days and bad. We slept together in December. He stopped by my place in January and I said no to sex. Wished me a Happy Birthday in February . I called him in March for help with something and he said he was confused. I said i thought thats what friends do and if we weren't friends then let me know and he didn't respond and we kept on talking. Then he said he had to take another phone call and that was it. He said it was up to me to be friends. I know I can't be friends as my emotions are still there. I did the drunk call a week later and he asked me to meet his new friend and that I couldn't be just his friend. He called me the next day and came by my place and we talked through his car window. He didn't want to come up as i said nothing was going to happen. I said I see you have moved on it's time for me to as well. Watched him drive away and went up to my condo. He then drives back and comes up to my condo. Nothing happened. Walked in looked around and said good luck. It's been 2 weeks and I called but not from my phone last night and hung up. Childish and pathetic I know. I have gone to therapy about this. Why can he be ready to commit and give her the title of girlfriend now and not me after nearly 2 years together? Just a really good friend he once said. I don't understand dating as I was married young and then single for nearly 10 years and then met him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry you're hurting, and it's very normal for you to feel this way; especially when your ex is still just "dropping in" on your life. If he's adamant about being with someone else, then there's no reason for him to come by or even answer the phone. He may genuinely want to be friends, but honestly, if he knows you still have feelings and aren't over him, then he's doing you a grave disservice in sometimes giving you false hope he may come back.

    I went through this with my ex-fiance, and at first she'd answer the phone when I called, would email and sometimes call on her own. I desperately wanted her car to show up in my driveway or for that phone call to be the start of a new beginning between us, but she was simply trying to be nice.

    Once she realized what she was doing and became more involved with someone she had begun dating, she cut all contact off with me. Sure, that hurt like hell, but it ended up being the best thing for both of us, as I was finally able to accept she was gone and that was that.

    Sometimes you never know why things that seemed great end, but down the road, you'll have had time to reflect and be grateful you're no longer with that person and are happy with someone else. Doesn't feel that way now, but I promise you will.

    And don't fret about the "childish" things you sometimes do when you're overcome with emotion. I did the same thing, but everyone got over it and eventually the pain went away and I realized I'm very happy I did not marry this woman.

    Good luck and hang in there.


Most Helpful Girl

  • its time to move on i know its not easy u have to love urself dont Call or text him he doesn't care about u so try to not talk to him. try to think about the bad things about him not the good moments


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