Why did my ex try to hurt me?

My ex-lover and I broke up 5 months ago with no contact for 3. I went to lunch at his family's house the other day and his father told me he is really looking forward to seeing me. When he did turn up he pushed his cousin out of the way to greet me. I extended my hand and he grabbed it and kissed me on the cheeks. I was shocked and ignored him for the rest of the lunch. He ended up leaving without saying goodbye. I stayed with his family for the Easter weekend. And he was only coming back on the Tuesday. Then I saw a picture of him and his new girlfriend and started crying my eyes out. I told his parents I am crying over another guy that I used to date last year. We never told his family we were together since I have known the family for a long time before we dated briefly. On the Monday during lunch I was told that he got sick and decided to come home earlier. He lives and hour away from his parents. And instead of going to his house he was going to come to his parents with his new girlfriend. I left because I knew I couldn't face his new girlfriend. Why would he bring the new girlfriend over if he knew it was going to hurt me?

Does he still have feelings for me or am I paranoid? I know I have no right to expect him to stay away from his family. But I would think it was common curt icy not to ex-lover and new girlfriend together. They have been seeing each other for a month now.
Thank you for the answers. It help a lot. I realized over the past few weeks that I am still in love with my ex. So I am staying away. Because I want him back.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Parents are pretty good at reading their kids if his dad days he is looking forward to seeing you I would guess its true. Also I wouldn't doubt it if his parents know you guys liked each other and maybe even that you dated. Also given his reaction when he saw you and what his dad said I would guess he still has feelings and you giving him the silent treatment after that greeting probably wounded his pride. I would guess he was bringing her for 1 of 2 reasons. One she found out you where there and insisted on coming. Not really that weird I am sure they talked about who would be there and she probably knows you are an ex. She wouldn't want him around you alone. Possibility two and in my eyes I lean towards this, he still likes you and is afraid of what he might do. So he brings his girlfriend to help him stay focused on the present. That kiss on the cheeks probably was him losing control and he doesn't want it to happen again or go further. He could also feel guilty about it and bringing her is his way of trying to clear his Conscience and reassure himself he likes he and not you. Either way just give the family space for now if you have been close for this long distance will not end that relationship.

    • Thank you. I stayed away from the family for 11 months, when it first started. And this was the first time I went back.

    • Maybe just try brief visits with an excuse to leave. During holidays for example just stop by for an hour or 2 and then leave for a "friend" or "co-workers" house. You still seem friendly and you do not have to be around too much. You could also just mention to them depending on how close you are and I would probably pick one of the parents that you and this guy are fighting or tell them his girl friend is uncomfortable with you being around. Maybe even ask this guy to tell them that for you. It would give you both an excuse to plan around each other at these functions and its pretty believable. Many gfs get jealous of female friends. Its just going to take time which I am sure you realize so try and hang in there you will make it through. :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • You gave him a bad signal when you ignored him for the rest of the day. I think he is bringing his girlfriend now to make you jealous.


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