The first time, I had no idea he was seeing someone. Totally oblivious to the fact. The next few times, spread over periods of several months without contact, I suspected they were still together but didn't know for sure. Which, while true, really is a lame excuse for my actions, but considering I was in a dark place in my life (as well as VERY naive) and felt like he made things better for me, I was pathetic. He wouldn't add me on social media after a while, he said nothing about her at all and his and hers were set to private so there was no way of really knowing unless I asked, to which he would probably lie.
No sex was involved, and we never saw each other except for once. All of our correspondence was through the phone or messaging. I guess his girlfriend found out because not even three days after lunch date they both blocked me from social media and the guy did not contact me again until recently. Against my better judgement, I talked to him thinking that we could be friends and keep boundaries. We had a really good friendship, at least before I had knowledge of the girlfriend, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings if he, for once, had honest intentions. But he flirted, though I didn't reciprocate. I had my suspicions. I dug deeper and confirmed them, so I severed ties with him last month.
Now the point is... should I apologize to the girlfriend? I have a long letter already drawn up. I feel awful and want to give accountability but at the same time, I don't feel like I need to further involve myself in this mess.
I'm not a whore, nor do I go out of my way to take something that's not mine. I'm not even in my twenties, yet I already consider this to be my lowest point and have no idea how I can live with myself. Insight is appreciated, with judgment aside. I'm judging myself as it is
Most Helpful Guy
don't apologize just leave it as it is and keep away from this mess
it's no use burdening yourself just keep distance from the guy and of course the gf and forget about it. move on
Most Helpful Girl
I think if it would make you feel better maybe it would be a good idea. She may not welcome it but that's her loss, don't look from validation from her. In reality he is the one in the wrong and you have nothing to feel bad for. I think that they seem like a lot of negativity you need to let go and move on from because you deserve better. If apologizing helps you do that than go for it, but I do not think you should feel like it's something you have to do (especially not just to make them feel better) if I were you I would be a little selfish and just do what makes me feel best and move on :)
by the way, don't feel so low about yourself, you seem like a wonderful person with a really good personality. It's sounds awful (but I will say it because I'm a savage like that) but he cheated on her with you so actually he needed you, not the other way around lol