So, there's a guy I've known for a long time (went to school with him) who cheated on his girlfriend with me multiple times.
The first time, I had no idea he was seeing someone. Totally oblivious to the fact. The next few times, spread over periods of several months without contact, I suspected they were still together but didn't know for sure. Which, while true, really is a lame excuse for my actions, but considering I was in a dark place in my life (as well as VERY naive) and felt like he made things better for me, I was pathetic. He wouldn't add me on social media after a while, he said nothing about her at all and his and hers were set to private so there was no way of really knowing unless I asked, to which he would probably lie.
No sex was involved, and we never saw each other except for once. All of our correspondence was through the phone or messaging. I guess his girlfriend found out because not even three days after lunch date they both blocked me from social media and the guy did not contact me again until recently. Against my better judgement, I talked to him thinking that we could be friends and keep boundaries. We had a really good friendship, at least before I had knowledge of the girlfriend, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings if he, for once, had honest intentions. But he flirted, though I didn't reciprocate. I had my suspicions. I dug deeper and confirmed them, so I severed ties with him last month.
Now the point is... should I apologize to the girlfriend? I have a long letter already drawn up. I feel awful and want to give accountability but at the same time, I don't feel like I need to further involve myself in this mess.
I'm not a whore, nor do I go out of my way to take something that's not mine. I'm not even in my twenties, yet I already consider this to be my lowest point and have no idea how I can live with myself. Insight is appreciated, with judgment aside. I'm judging myself as it is
Most Helpful Girl
Firstly, you have nothing to feel bad over. You sound like a very sincere, honest human being and I don't think you should feel awful for what happened. There's no need to judge yourself. You must forgive yourself and learn that is just another mistake. All humans make mistakes and do bad things sometimes. You are no different than someone else who made a mistake. What counts is learning from it and moving on. That is all you can do and should be doing. You are a great person and do not let this one mistake make you negative about your life.
I think you should leave the situation as it is. Apologizing to this girl seems like a gamble. She will likely still be angry and will maybe think you have some backstage motives for what you are doing. I think it is best to put the past in the past and to not look back. You're right... there's no need for you to involve yourself further. She obviously took him back so she can't be that pissed off anymore. Just move on and try to forgive yourself.0