Do you think it's appropriate for my ex husbands girlfriend to have taken a bath with out 5 year old daughter?

My daughter came home from the weekend with her dad and asked me if "said girlfriend" was allowed to get in the bath with her. I asked if she did and she said yes. I asked if she hurt or touched her and she said no. I just find this so bizarre. I only met the girl once and it wasn't a good first impression bc I caught her in a lie but it wasn't blown up. But now this is raising some flags for me as a mom.

  • No, it's not a big deal
    Vote A
  • Yes, lines were crossed
    Vote B
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Updates:
This is not a long term relationship. They have only been together about 4 months

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Being as wise as I am, I feel this is a bit awkward and I do Not mean this in a sexual way, although it's good you checked into this here, dear. It's the point where I do Not see where a grown woman who is only this "House guest,' not even a long term member of your husband's life Nor a wife should Have------Taken a bath with our 5 year old daughter.
    Perhaps if she were a baby, I probably would not have said much but your daughter is nearly at the age of accountability and can remember as she gets older and This may come back to bite her where she will be questioning... why was she taking a bath with me?
    Have a chat with your EX and tell him what your daughter said. Also tell him to have a pet talk with his newbie and tell her No rub a dub in the tub, even if it Was innocent. Explain to him that you are just getting all of your own ducks in an appropriate row and nothing has to get ugly here but everyone needs to be on the same page when she is visiting dad.
    Good luck. x

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    • Thank you, sweetie, and hope everything came out alright in the wash.:)) xxoo

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • While I do think she was out of line by having the child in the bath with her , the little one said nothing happened and she was not touched inapropreatly. I would express my desire to the ex that it not happen again

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  • How long is she your ex husband girlfriend - If she is a long term girlfriend she may see herself in pseudo parent role. It needs to be discussed what each others various roles are in your daughter's life for the sake of clarity.

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    • They have been dating for 4 months

  • Yes, I'm European and that's co. pletely normal.

    If you are from the US, I assume pedophilia comes to mind at the speed of light. Sad culture.

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    • But this is not a parent and not a relative. I've raised my kid that it's not ok for people who aren't your parents to bathe you wipe you or touch and inappropriate areas. This girl is not European either. It's normal for Europeans to bathe with other people's kids?

    • "Sad culture"? Sad culture where baths are encouraged with children whom are not relatives what the fuck!

    • Lol, do you have to swear every time you talk?

  • It's a little disrespectful to you.

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  • It's just as weird as if a grown ass man was naked in the bath with your 5 year old son, which I'm sure everyone would see as completely wrong.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Yes, that is completely f*cking inappropriate. I would be livid if I were you and actually call child services. Strangers don't take baths with your f*cking children! > : (
    I never even took a bath with my FIVE YEAR OLD NIECE as her mother's BABY SISTER. It is completely inappropriate. You don't know this b*tch and she does not need to be seeing your daughter naked let alone showing your daughter her naked body as well. Females can be sex offenders too. Tyler Perry was raped by a grown woman when he was 9. You better keep your child away from that shady, tryphlin hoe.

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  • Since they haven't been together long and you haven't had much contact with her, lines have been crossed. Not cool.

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  • Well, she isn't the girls parent so I do find it odd.

    However, if your ex husband has been with his girlfriend for a very long time she probably sees the girl as a daughter figure.
    So, the behavior wouldn't be strikingly abnormal.

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    • He's only known the girl 4 months

    • I have a 5 year old and I wouldn't feel comfortable with this.
      You need to tell him you don't want that happening anymore.
      It would be totally different if he were dating this woman for years.
      You're not accusing her of anything (because this could have very well been innocent),
      but it is inappropriate.
      What if their relationship didn't work out and he got a new girlfriend...
      would this young child be taking baths with this new girlfriend also?
      He needs to be more firm when it comes to the decision making of his daughter.

  • There's something wrong here. You and dad need to communicate straight away!!!

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  • I think that sounds a bit odd - she's not even related to her or know her very well. I wouldn't necessarily class it as pedophilia, but I do think that's strange and its not something I would be comfortable with, as the child or if I was their parent. Considering your daughter asked if it was ok, suggests she also has some uncertainty. If this makes either of you uncomfortable, maybe you should talk to your ex or his girlfriend about this.

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    • Why is a grown woman taking a BATH with a little girl anyway? WTF.

  • if your not comfortable with it then make that clear. here in the uk i bathed and showered with my mum for along time it saved water and i wasn't that good at washing my own hair.

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    • I understand bathing with parents but this female has only been dating my ex husband for 4 months

    • if your uncomfortble with it then you need to tell your ex this and make clear your opinion

  • I think you should tell your ex husband about it. Tell him that you wouldn't like that to happen again.

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  • She crossed the line cause you don't get in the tub with another woman's child. Step mom or not. Thats a no no.

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  • Was the girlfriend naked?

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  • I'm sure she meant absolutely no malice or bad intent, there is nothing wrong with a young girl seeing another woman naked in such a situation. I actually think it does a lot for education and self esteem seeing real women naked, but anyway, I do think that it might be a bit of a sensitive subject if I was a new girlfriend and I would be hesitant were I the kind of person to get naked in front of kids.

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  • Hey, be happy she's washing your daughter. Some nasty bitches won't be so kind. :/

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  • I don't think it's weird or inappropriate.

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