Girls, seriously, why would you bother texting an ex?

I really don't get this, and it's really doing my head in: if I told you I didn't want to be friends with, that if you change your mind you know where to find me and that I had gone No Contact... Why on Earth would you text me?

Why would even bothered getting your phone and typing a long text to send me when I've explicitly told you I don't want anything to do with you unless you change your mind?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It would be helpful to know the content of that text. You say it was long, could it be that she has, in fact, changed her mind? Maybe she's too shy/scared to state things directly but a long text generally means someone has something to say (even if they don't say it directly). Is there anything between the lines?

    Assuming there really is not and she really has not changed her mind: she might just miss you as someone she had in her life before. I agree that it's not right to text you for that reason when you've specifically told her you didn't want to be in touch.

    • Well she told me she had transferred money to me, but then dragged it on asking how I was, if I was OK, if I was enjoying the sun, if University is going well.

      Bear in mind we hadn't spoken for 2 weeks and that she probably noticed I deleted her off Facebook... it feels weird that she had to drag it on if all she wanted to say was that she gave me the money.

      I'll see if she contacts me again.

    • She probably misses you and wants you back in her life (on her conditions). Like you say, I'd wait to see if she writes again, and would not respond to this text.

    • OK, well I haven't answered her. The text was sent 3 days ago... so she might not be worried just yet.

      It's nice to know I'm on her mind.

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What Girls Said 5

  • There are only 2 possible reasons:

    1. She wants you back
    2. She is a complete idiot

    And the only way for you to find out why is to ask her.

    • What do you mean by she's an idiot?

    • She wants you to agree with her that the breakup was the best thing to do, so she can have you when she needs you, like a puppy who's gonna run to her, while she's screwing some other guy and not giving a damn about your emotions. Heaven forbid that she is a crappy person! She needs to prove to herself how she is a wonderful person and the only way to do so is by you thinking she is... Do yourself a favor and forget about her (if number 1 is not the reason).
      P. S. When I break up with someone that means I don't want them in my life anymore. (did it only once because he bored me and I couldn't care less what or how he was doing)

  • I've tried losing complete contact with my ex many times -.- somehow or someway he would always find me... the only time I've ever contacted him was to ask him if he deleted my nudes :/ only then did me having his phone number come in handy lol

  • Maybe she misses you or maybe she misses the attention

    • Well, personality wise, she's very introvert and suffers from severe anxiety. I don't know about missing me, or if she misses being in a relationship

    • I have an anxiety and depression disorder that I take meds for and i just went through a break up. Its not so much that I miss him but i need to know someone is there for me... its like a security blanket lol maybe its the same for her?

    • Did you're ex tell you he didn't want to friends and that he only wanted you to contact him if you changed your mind?

  • Mind games all about control

  • Good question. I have no idea why people, mainly women so often feel the need to contact an ex. Seems like a waste of time to me.

    • Ironically, you're probably one of them.

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    • I think you should hang-back a bit. Let her put some more effort into this.

    • Yeah, I'll let you know if she contacts me again... which she probably will because present dictates future tendencies.

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